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Podcast title The Balance and Motherhood Podcast
Website URL https://www.sarahbivens.com/
Description Welcome to the Balance and Motherhood podcast - the show that explores 2 seemingly incompatible things: balance and motherhood, and how to integrate them. How to put yourself first despite temptations and suggestions to do otherwise. Practicing self-love and self-care in motherhood. Because there’s a billion resources out there on being a better parent and how to raise your kid. This is a resource for being a better you and remembering to raise yourself up. We’re all in this together. So let’s have some fun, real, raw, honest conversation about it - the thoughts, experiences, failures, triumphs and random goofs that pop up as we navigate this crazy and beautiful journey.
Updated Mon, 18 Mar 2019 17:27:31 +0000
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Kids & Family
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Episodes

1. 136: Sometimes You Just Gotta Say "F*** You!"
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 8.96Mb)

Description:

Ever just feel like saying “F--- YOU!”

What if that’s ok? And what if it could be a valuable tool?

I’m talking about saying “f--- you” to the stuff in your life that isn’t working for you, that you don’t need and is bringing your vibe down.

In this week’s Monday Momtra, I’m encouraging you to tell the limiting beliefs and mindsets to get out of your space, and to make room for all the other awesome, powerful goddess stuff that you’re up to.

Links:

My website - https://www.sarahbivens.com/ My Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahmbivens/ My Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/sarahbivenslifestylecoach/

2. 135: Body Hair, Don't Care
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Description:

How do you feel about body hair?

Do you shave, wax, tweeze, trim or laser?

Today’s episode is a listener requested topic: body hair. I think this is a great conversation for women, particularly mothers, as we learn to relate to and love our bodies as they change through the journey of motherhood. And so yes, it’s a conversation about body hair - specifically some of my thoughts and feelings and how they’ve evolved over the years, but it’s so much more than that. It lends itself to a greater exploration of our paradigm of beauty, body positivity and what we want to be an example of for our children.

Plus I reference an interesting article from Bustle about the history of shaving. Fascinating to learn where some of our societal habits come from and how they impact our norms and standards.

Links:

My website - https://www.sarahbivens.com/ My Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahmbivens/ My Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/sarahbivenslifestylecoach/ The Bloomi - www.thebloomi.com - use the code SARAH10 for 10% off your order Bustle article - https://www.bustle.com/articles/196747-the-sneaky-manipulative-history-of-why-women-started-shaving

3. 134: TOTs Kill Mothers' Sex Lives
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Description:

What kills your sex drive?

I’m shaking it up a bit in today’s Monday Momtra, and I’m giving you another element to the AIM (affirmation, inspiration, motivation) that I generally have in these episodes. I think “awareness” is super important as well. So I’m giving you a tool for being aware around your sexual energy - how it ebbs and flows and what contributes to that. Also, what to do about it.

I’ve found the culprits in the murder of our libidos, our mojo, our sexy groove thang swag. And then I have a free resource for you that you can download right now to start addressing your sexual energy and ignite it to see what an impact it has on your entire life.

Links:

3 Vital Steps for Mothers to Connect with Their Sexuality - https://www.sarahbivens.com/3-vital-steps My website - https://www.sarahbivens.com/ My Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahmbivens/ My Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/sarahbivenslifestylecoach/

4. 133: I Don't Like The Term "Stay At Home Mom" And Here's Why
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Description:

Ever heard the phrase, “I’m just a mom…”?

In today’s episode I’m getting something off my chest - something that kinda bothers me and I want to change the energy around. And that’s the term “stay at home mom.” I’ve heard too many examples of people looking at that role in a disempowering way and making all kinds of assumptions about the choices of parents in managing their family dynamics.

So I’m offering an alternative name for SAHM, along with some reminders on the value of all variations of mothering and some of my own struggles with my balance of career and motherhood.



5. 132: Letting Go of Expectations and Staying Present
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Description:

Ever feel caught up in the results that you’re creating in your life, rather than being fully present in the experience of it?

So in other words, are you human?

Today’s Monday Momtra episode is about letting go of expectations and staying present in your life. I’ve got an updated version to the “it’s about the journey, not the destination” adage that I think  can serve a lot of us. It has certainly been showing up in my life lately - in motherhood, my relationships, my business.

Reciting this Momtra a few times will definitely get you thinking differently about how you approach your expectations around things, patience and gratitude.

Links:

My website - https://www.sarahbivens.com/ My Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahmbivens/ My Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/sarahbivenslifestylecoach/

6. 131: The Week in the Life of a Magical Mama
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Description:

Did you know you’re a magical mama and you’re making magic all the time in your life?

Well, you are. In this episode, I decided to let you in on a week of my life and share some of what I like to call “magical moments.” From my recent travels to Boston, time with Maya, being an awesome wife and taking a pause for self-care, I wanted to let you in on all of this because 1: it’s fun and 2: maybe it’ll spark some ideas for you on how you’re creating a bunch of magic in your life.

Links:

My website - https://www.sarahbivens.com/ My Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahmbivens/ My Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/sarahbivenslifestylecoach/ Matthew’s new course - https://matthew-bivens.mykajabi.com/blueprint Celeste Barber awesomeness - https://www.instagram.com/celestebarber

7. 130: Quick Reminder to Say Thank You and I Love You
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Description:

How often do you say “thank you” and “I love you”?

In this week’s Monday Momtra I’m encouraging you to say it as often as possible.

It’s so easy to get caught up in our stuff and forget the important things like expressing love and gratitude.

So this is a short and sweet one for ya, because full disclosure: I’m tired AF and I need a little bit of self-care and rest. But this message is super powerful and a reminder that we all need.

Links:

My website - https://www.sarahbivens.com/ My Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahmbivens/ My Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/sarahbivenslifestylecoach/

8. 129: Motherhood Doesn’t Get Any Easier...
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Description:

Do you think motherhood gets any easier?

I don’t. I know, super inspiring for a Monday Momtra episode huh?

But that’s not where I’d end the conversation. There’s so much more to it. And this episode, I’ll warn you - takes a lot of turns. I was all excited by recording it live on Instagram and feeling all the energy that I just had to pack a bunch into it. So it’s a tad bit longer than most Momtra episodes, but I don’t think you’ll mind.

From motherhood not getting any easier, to questions we can ask ourselves periodically as mothers, to a scene of Fight Club that I think we can pull some inspiration from (yes, you saw that correctly...Fight Club).

This was a lot of fun to record. If you were joining live on Instagram, thank you! If you’d like for me to do it again another time, reach out and let me know!

Links:

My website: https://www.sarahbivens.com/ My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahmbivens/ My Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahbivenslifestylecoach Balancing Motherhood Retreat: https://mailchi.mp/a65e91edc93f/tbhbalancingmotherhood

9. 128: How to Be Aware of the Energy Your Kids Pick Up From You
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Description:

Do you pick up on your children’s energy?

We often hear about how our children pick up on our energy and are impacted by how we’re feeling and processing...but what about what we get from them?

Today’s episode was inspired by a listener email from Bristinny. I go into the dynamics of energy exchange between ourselves and our children, from my own experience and understanding.

How can we set a great example, and also learn from what our children can reveal to us and teach us about ourselves? Listen in and find out!

Links:

My website: https://www.sarahbivens.com/ My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahmbivens/ My Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahbivenslifestylecoach/ Balancing Motherhood Retreat: https://mailchi.mp/a65e91edc93f/tbhbalancingmotherhood

10. 127: Take Responsibility for Your Vibe
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Description:

Are you taking responsibility for your vibe?

In other words, are you owning the choice that you have in any situation -- to be someone that you’re inspired by?

Today’s Momtra was inspired by one of my favorite resources for when I need some time to reflect, move my body in an intentional way and get some self-care time in - Yoga with Adriene. And in one of the yoga videos I was doing recently, she said something that really stuck with me and I wanted to share it with you - to provide some AIM (affirmation, inspiration and motivation) for your week!

Links:

My website: https://www.sarahbivens.com/ My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahmbivens/ Yoga with Adriene - https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene

11. 126: 4 Tips for Being More Assertive and Confident as a Mother and Woman
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Description:

How do you become more assertive and confident?

This was the topic of an awesome listener email that I received recently from Cristina. And I can certainly relate to this. How do we express ourselves clearly and confidently? What about if conflict makes you uncomfortable?

Again, I feel the challenge here. I struggled a lot with this over the years. From being told I was too bossy as a little girl, to being told I wasn’t aggressive enough in a male-dominated startup environment.

But now I feel more confident around confidence. And I have 4 tips for being more assertive and confident as a woman and as a mother. Listen in to learn more!

Links:

My website: https://www.sarahbivens.com/

My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahmbivens/

The sex survey: https://www.sarahbivens.com/sexsurvey



12. 125: Let Yourself Roar
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Description:

Do you believe in your power for abundance and expansion?

I know that seems like a big and heavy thing, but it’s so powerful. In today’s Mamtra, I have a quote that I want to share that actually links back to a previous Mamtra episode. I feel like it brought some things full circle for me (especially while I’m on day 3 of a 7-day cleanse...more on that later!).

We leave pieces of ourselves all over - in our children, our relationships and random interactions that might seem inconsequential at the time. I believe that by owning our ROAR, we open up our awareness to the impact we have on the world. And then we become more intentional with what kind of impression we want to leave. This is about taking what you’ve learned in your life journeys and magnifying that to inspire others. So roar, my love. ROAR!

Links:

My website - https://www.sarahbivens.com/ My Instagram - https://instagram.com/sarahmbivens 7-Day Chakra Cleanse - https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Day-Total-Cleanse-Revolutionary-Clarify/dp/0071623744 BAM episode with first Rumi quote - https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/007-a-reminder-of-how-awesome-you-are/id1326237425?i=1000398371361&mt=2

13. 124: What Watching "Frozen" A Million Times Taught Me About Emotional Intelligence
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Description:

How many times have you watched “Frozen?”

Have you gotten anything out of it besides catchy tunes that you can’t get out of your head?

Well in today’s episode, I’m sharing some deep insights that I gained from watching it close to a million times over the past few weeks.

I appreciated the opportunity to look at the conversation of hiding our emotions and the impact from that.

So how do we do it like Elsa did and “let it go?” What emotions are you not allowing yourself to feel? What’s the price you pay for that?

This is a conversation about “Frozen,” but it’s so much more. It’s about addressing fear, embracing love and giving yourself the space and grace to let it flow!

Links:

My website: www.sarahbivens.com My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahmbivens/ My Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahbivenslifestylecoach Balancing Motherhood Retreat: https://mailchi.mp/a65e91edc93f/tbhbalancingmotherhood The Bloomi: www.thebloomi.com Episode 3 about Moana: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/003-what-disneys-moana-taught-me-about-being-divine/id1326237425?i=1000397461620&mt=2

14. 123: Self-Care for Mamas is a Non-Luxury We Can't Afford to Skip
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Description:

Do you believe self-care for moms is important?

In today’s Monday Momtra, I’m sharing why I think self-care is essential. It’s not a luxury. In fact, we can’t afford to skip it.

It looks different for all of us. So I encourage doing what works for you, and leaning on others to remind you of its importance.

Links:

Sex Survey - https://www.sarahbivens.com/sexsurvey

100 Habits for Balance and Self-Love - https://www.sarahbivens.com/100habits



15. 122: Don't Be Afraid To Share Your Story
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Description:

Does sharing your truth negate someone else’s?

In my world, and in this Monday Momtra episode, that answer is “no.”

It’s a trend that’s particularly pervasive in mom culture - that by sharing our experience we diminish someone else’s. Or we feel like someone sharing their story is an attack on ours. I encourage us to break this narrative.

Let’s embrace and share our stories boldly, from a place of authenticity, love and compassion. Because there’s so much to learn about ourselves through the connection of community and joint expression.

Links:

Sex Survey - www.sarahbivens.com/sexsurvey



16. 121: From the Trenches of Motherhood: Lessons From Toddler (and Mama) Tantrums
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Description:

What do you do when your child has a tantrum?

I don’t even like that word honestly, but I’m using it here for the purpose of context. Lately, my two-year-old Maya has been testing out her range of emotions, and exploring the responses that exercising those emotions might provoke.

I’m gonna be real with you - it’s been a challenging past day and a half. I got a little bit of a cold, puked, parented from the couch, got screamed and kicked at multiple times...so in the midst of Maya working through her feelings, I came very close to losing my sh**.

So come with me on this little journey. This is just me sharing some tales from the trenches of motherhood, and how I used my resources, the village, to get my power back and do what I do (be a badass goddess mama!).

Links:

Episode 36 that I reference in this conversation - https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/036-how-being-an-abundant-lover-makes-me-a-better-mother/id1326237425?i=1000408316810&mt=2

 



17. 120: This Napolean Hill Quote Has Blown My Mind
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Description:

Ready to up your visualization game?

This Monday Momtra is inspired by a quote from Napolean Hill. Let’s just say it f***ed me up. In a great way. It made me think differently about how I’m envisioning and manifesting in my life. So of course I wanted to share it with you!

Here’s the quote:

“The intensity with which you impress your subconscious with a picture of your plan directly affects the speed with which the subconscious will go to work to attract the picture’s physical counterpart by inspiring you to take the right steps.”

Share with me your thoughts on this and where you see it apply in your life!



18. 119: Why Do We Settle For Bull***?
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Description:

Why do we settle for bull***?

But seriously, why? Why will we become a real-life meme representation of “it’s fine, I’m fine!” when it is not in fact fine and we are not fine?!

Today I’m exploring why we might settle for things in our lives, pulling from some of my own examples. Smaller examples of compromising ourselves and settling for less sets a tone and a pattern for how we then see ourselves, conduct ourselves and value ourselves.

I’m proclaiming no more settling, and instead, embracing our choice to experience what we want!



19. 118: My Word to Affirm, Inspire and Motivate Me in 2019
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Description:

What’s your word for this year?

Each year I like to pick a word to set an intention and energy around what I want to create and accomplish and experience. So I’m sharing the word of 2019 for me, what it means and how I plan to use it. Let me know if it inspires your intention-setting for the year!

Links:

UYHB Course, code BADASS2018 - https://www.sarahbivens.com/badasscourse Balancing Motherhood Retreat Website, code RELAXWITHSARAH - https://mailchi.mp/a65e91edc93f/tbhbalancingmotherhood Balancing Motherhood Retreat Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/events/752569045107263 Tranquility By HeHe - https://www.tranquilitybyhehe.com/

 



20. 117: Why Motherhood and Sexuality Don't Mix (And Other Lies We’re Fed)
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Description:

Can motherhood and sexuality work together?

This is a question I was asking myself a couple of weeks ago, and next thing I knew I was knee-deep in articles about motherhood and sexuality and the conversation of their compatibility (or lack thereof). So in today’s episode I’m sharing some of my findings and my thoughts on the themes that come up.

Like why do we seem to ignore sexuality once women become mothers? Why do we deny the multidimensional aspect of mothers and that they can actually enjoy sex?

How can you connect with your sensuality and sexuality and allow that to fuel your role as a mother? Listen in to find out!

Links:

UYHB Course, code BADASS2018 - https://www.sarahbivens.com/badasscourse Balancing Motherhood Retreat Website  - https://mailchi.mp/a65e91edc93f/tbhbalancingmotherhood Balancing Motherhood Retreat Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/events/752569045107263 Tranquility By HeHe - https://www.tranquilitybyhehe.com/ DIAH podcast episode 134: https://www.diahpodcast.com/single-post/A-Maternity-Concierge-and-Doula-Shares-How-to-Pamper-Yourself-During-Pregnancy-with-HeHe-Stewart

Articles mentioned in episode:

Can Motherhood and Sexuality Coexist by Rachel Khona - https://www.scarymommy.com/can-motherhood-and-sexuality-coexist/ Igniting Sensuality & Embracing Sexuality in Motherhood by Carley Mendes  - https://www.ohbabynutrition.com/blog/igniting-sensuality-embracing-sexuality-in-motherhood 10 Ways Motherhood Actually Helped Me Embrace My Sexuality Steph Montgomery  - https://www.romper.com/p/10-ways-motherhood-actually-helped-me-embrace-my-sexuality-54708 The Real Reason Motherhood Kills Your Sex Life by Adriana Velez - https://thestir.cafemom.com/love/177923/motherhood_killing_marriage_sex

21. 116: Get Ready for 2019: The Year of YOU!
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Description:

It’s that time when we start thinking about a new year...resolutions, intentions, possibilities.

I encourage you to go bold. Commit to yourself and be relentless, unwavering in your pursuit of knowing yourself and loving the process of continuing to uncover who that is.

How do you get to know yourself? My answer: you dive into figuring out what matters most to you, what makes you tick, what you actually want out of life. And then you own that shit!

My online course, Unleash Your Humble Badass is a guided process to your self-discovery. It’s the blueprint I’ve used in my own life and use with all of my clients to get clear on identity, desire, purpose, passion and direction.

And it’s going away -- I’m retiring it after 2018 to work on other projects. So I’m offering it now at 25% discount -- normal cost is $197, that makes it $147. Use the code BADASS2018 when you purchase -- that’s BADASS2018

Because how can you create the life you want, if you don’t know what you want? How do you love yourself if you don’t know yourself. Answers: you can’t!

So take that leap into a new year and get clear with yourself.

Links:

Unleash Your Humble Badass Course - https://www.sarahbivens.com/badasscourse

 



22. 115: The Reason Why Some of Your Relationships Suck
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Description:

Why do some of our relationships in our lives suck?

Such a great question to ponder, especially around the holidays when we might be interacting with a lot of different people that have various roles and depths of intimacy in our lives.

So for this week’s Momtra, I’m encouraging you to look at how you’re showing up in your relationships, specifically the space that you are holding for others around you.

Take a look at where you could evolve how you view the people around you and then see what impact that has on how you experience interactions with them.

Links:

Website - www.sarahbivens.com Instagram - https://instagram.com/sarahmbivens

23. 114: You're So Much Stronger Than You Think You Are
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Description:

Remember that power and strength that you used to bring your child(ren) earthside?

Mmmkay, so why do we forget about it or leave it within the confines of birth?

Today’s episode was inspired by a beautiful aha moment that my husband Matthew had. While driving along in the car one day he said, “No mother should ever question how capable she is!”



24. 113: Trust Signs from the Universe and Let Go of Your Attachments
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Description:

Do you notice the signs from the universe?

Yes, I went there. I believe in signs. I believe in things showing up to test what we’ve said and stood for. I believe in things working in divine time and place. I believe in magic.

In today’s Momtra, I’m sharing some recent examples from my life that reminded me to trust the signs. I also received a lesson in attachment and the opportunity to see where I’m at with my levels of allowing and resistance.

Links:

My website - https://www.sarahbivens.com/ BAM Tribe - https://www.sarahbivens.com/bamtribe

25. 112: Sex and Healing Part 3: How Abundant Love Heals the World (Rebroadcast from the Make Everyday YourDay podcast)
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Description:

Can your sex heal?

Today is the third and final episode of the latest series I’ve brought you: Sex and Healing. It’s a conversation originally posted on the “Make Everyday YourDay” podcast, similar to Friday’s episode. This one gets turned up to a whole new level. I sat down with Day and got into a real, raw, honest, transparent and loving conversation about Abundant Love.

We go over the meaning as well as how it has evolved and played out over the years, particularly in my understanding of myself and my personal healing.

Let’s be clear here: this is some mature-ass content and conversation. We get specific in a (lovingly) unapologetic way. I encourage you to listen at your own risk and with an open mind.

Links:

Make Everyday YourDay podcast - https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/make-everyday-yourday/id1386360493?mt=2 100 Habits for Balance and Self-Love - https://www.sarahbivens.com/100habits

26. 111: Sex and Healing Part 2: How Being an Abundant Lover Makes Me a Better Mother
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Description:

What is abundant love?

Here is the middle, the delicious creamy filling, to the Oreo cookie of episodes that I’m bringing you this weekend.

This is a republish of an episode I did back in March of this year. And get this - it is the number 1 downloaded episode of the podcast if you can believe it. So if you haven’t heard it, you need to. And if you have, then it’s a great time to refresh on it so you’ll have some context for the episode that’s coming up tomorrow.

Here’s the original episode description:

What is love to you? What’s the purpose of sex for you?

There are a lot of boxes for different lovestyles: monogamy, non-monogamy, polyamory, polygamy, polyandry, polygyny, open marriage, swingers….any others I’m forgetting?

This is a super personal episode and I’m sharing some big, bold and authentic truths with you about my marriage and identity as an individual.

Here’s how it’s going to flow...I’m going to answer the following questions:

What is Abundant Love? How did I realize I was an abundant lover? What lessons have I learned from this process? How does it make me a better mother?

I’m putting it all on the table. Practicing BEING about what I talk about and encourage on the show. So here it is, folks. Here I am. Enjoy!

Links:

100 Habits for Balance and Self-Love - https://www.sarahbivens.com/100habits

27. 110: Sex and Healing Part 1: Living A Balanced, Healing and Turned On Life (Rebroadcast from the Make Everyday YourDay podcast)
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Description:

Are you turned on in your life?

What would it look like if you were?

I’m doing something kinda cool and different on the show. I’m bringing you a little series special. Three back-to-back episodes about some deep and vulnerable stuff around relationships, sexuality, love and life.

To kick it off, I’m bringing you an interview I did earlier this year with Saint Day Adeogba on his podcast “Make Everyday YourDay.” Day is a transformation specialist, a connector and a creator. He’s honestly many things, and he’s a very important person in my life.

Day interviews me and we talk about some of my healing journey to loving and accepting myself, as well as what it looks like to balance two podcasts, coaching clients, running a business with my husband and navigating motherhood. While taking care of my health, fitness and personal growth through the process. And yes, staying turned on and excited about what I’m creating.

This is a great conversation to start this trilogy of awesomeness that I’m presenting you with this weekend. So settle in and enjoy (but don’t get too comfortable, because sh** is gonna get real!)!

Links:

Make Everyday YourDay podcast - https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/make-everyday-yourday/id1386360493?mt=2 100 Habits for Balance and Self-Love - https://www.sarahbivens.com/100habits

28. 109: There's No Such Thing As Surprises
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Description:

Ever get surprised by the things that show up in your life?

Today’s Momtra is about flipping the script of surprises, and instead looking at circumstances and occurrences as being in direct alignment with what it is we’re putting out there - our thoughts, words and actions.

I believe this perspective empowers us, encourages us to drop any blame stories that we’re running and allows us the space for gratitude and magic. Listen in!



29. 108: I Don't Want to Be Around My Kid All The Time
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Description:

How do we find balance around the time we spend with our kids and the time we need to tend to ourselves?

In this week’s episode, I’m sharing a truth of mine. And I don’t expect everyone to agree with it. That’s totally fine. Because I’m not trying to tell anyone how to parent. I’m just sharing some recent realizations of mine and how they relate to my experience.

And that big understanding is this: I don’t want to be around my kid all the time. I don’t want to be with her every second of the day.

I found peace with this after two circumstances: Matthew went out of town for the weekend leaving me solo with Maya, and then I went out of town for a weekend by myself leaving him with Maya. Let’s just say both impacted me in a big way.



30. 107: You Need to Let Go Of Certain People and Things In Order to Grow
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 12.63Mb)

Description:

What do you do with the things (and people) that hold you back from growing and moving forward?

One idea: let them go.

Today's Monday Momtra episode is about what happens when you start to level up. Things get confronted and what has worked in the past may not work the same anymore. Relationships will change, environments will move. This should be fun!



31. 106: Ways to Feel Sexy and Juicy as a Mom
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Description:

What does it mean for you to feel sexy?

In today’s episode I share a quote around sensuality that really inspired me and sparked the conversation for what it is to feel in touch with your sexiness, how to cultivate it and how to be bold in expressing it.

I encourage you and every mom to be juicy. Listen in to find out more!

Links:

My website - https://www.sarahbivens.com/ Erika Lust - https://erikalust.com/

 



32. 105: When You Need Permission to Be Yourself
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Description:

What does it look like to give yourself permission?

This is a question that a client asked me not too long ago. And it opened up the door to some great conversation and realizations around how we honor and value ourselves.

I did an episode not too long ago about giving yourself permission to fall apart, as in breakdown and unravel if that’s what you needed.

Well in today’s Momtra, I’m expanding the permission scope and giving you some tips and takeaways on giving yourself what you need in any given moment.



33. 104: Nothing Matters Without Gratitude
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Description:

What are you grateful for?

I know, I know. Obligatory episode for the week of Thanksgiving. But I promise you, this isn’t your cookie-cutter conversation about gratitude. Because in this week’s Momtra, I’m heavily emphasizing cultivating gratitude within the challenging situations - the ones where it’s easy to forget about gratitude and fixate on the sh**.

So I’m giving you my take on the importance of gratitude, some ideas for habits to build gratitude as well as examples from my life where I can recognize gratitude despite the painful circumstances.

Plus, how gratitude can literally be a superpower!

Links:

7-Day Balance Breakthrough - https://www.sarahbivens.com/breakthrough

 



34. 103: When Other People Try to Parent Your Kids
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Description:

How do you deal with other people’s words, actions and energy around your kids?

I don’t normally like talking about parenting itself, because that’s not the focus of the show. But I thought there was some cool crossover here with what it means to use your own voice and truth in challenging situations, regardless of who’s involved. One area to practice is in how we advocate for our children when people might be misaligned with our values, practices, goals, etc for our family and parenting style.

So I dive into the various viewpoints when it comes to other people and some questions to ask ourselves when we’re feeling conflicted on how to handle a situation.

Links:

BAM Tribe enrollment - www.sarahbivens.com/bamtribe



35. 102: Take the Rocks Out of Your Shoes
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Description:

Why do we choose suffering?

Seriously, I think it’s happening in our lives way more than we realize. We let things stick around and bring a certain level of pain and frustration, and we’ll let it hang out there. We come to tolerate them and go about our days. But what if we stopped and take a moment to identify the group of little things that when compiled together, are actually preventing us from experiencing our lives and ourselves at full volume?

Today’s Momtra was is a brilliant download from one of my clients, Jess. She had this realization that she was allowing certain things to stick around, like small little rocks stuck in your shoe. She’d go throughout the day and neglect to remove these tiny nuisances. And then lightbulb moment - Where am I allowing other “rocks” to stay where they are and how long have I been walking around with them?!

I believe when we hold onto the “rocks in our shoes,” we train ourselves to compromise and accept less for ourselves, expect less of ourselves and invest less in ourselves. So of course, I say f*** that. So what are your rocks and why have you been letting them stay where they are? Just by asking the questions and beginning the awareness, you create the opportunity to let go and release your suffering.

Links:

Unleash Your Humble Badass course - https://www.sarahbivens.com/badasscourse

 



36. 101: How I Deal With Hot Boiling Mom Rage
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Description:

Have you experienced postpartum anger?

I think it’s important that we’re bringing more awareness to the cocktail of emotions that mothers can experience at any particular stage of the journey. Today, I want to talk about anger, or what I am classifying as “hot boiling mom rage.” Yep, that’s my scientific term for what I’ve realized I’ve experienced off and on for about a year now.

It took loving and supportive friends around me to dissect it and get to the root of where it was coming from. Come to find that it goes back decades. And that I’ve actually always had the anger hanging out there, but I just wasn’t managing it in a healthy or effective way. I was in denial about the fact that I had been angry and had suppressed it. So now, as my anger sat so clearly in front of me, it had me asking the question, “What the hell do I do with it?”

From conversations with little me to seeing my daughter Maya as one of my greatest teachers in this lesson, I get real and raw with you in this episode. So see where you might relate to any of it and how you could learn from some of my experience to heal your own anger.



37. 100: 3 Ways to Celebrate You: 100th Episode Special
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Description:

Are you taking time to celebrate yourself this week?

Well, I encourage you to do so because it’s a celebration over here on the Balance and Motherhood podcast. It’s episode 100! Woooo!

So I have 3 ways to celebrate yourself - from how to talk about yourself to the fears you’re holding onto to keeping an abundance of love and energy that you use for yourself and share with others.

Listen, you’re awesome. Grade-A badass. So celebrate that! Join me in to 100-episode celebration and love on yourself!

Links:

Balanced Mama Moments Album - https://www.sarahbivens.com/balanced-mama-moments BAM Tribe Group Coaching - https://www.sarahbivens.com/bamtribe

38. 099: A Conversation with My Husband About Sexual Healing, Goddess Position and Ejaculation
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 81.38Mb)

Description:

How are your experiences in the bedroom mirroring the rest of your life?

Chances are that a lot of our beliefs around sex overlap into other areas of our lives. So how can you use the space of sexual intimacy to cultivate healing and tap into your power?

In today’s episode, I’m sharing a conversation that I had with my husband Matthew on his podcast, “Having It ALL.” We planned on talking about other things, but what do you know - we ended up on the topic of sex and it totally shifted the direction of the episode.

We talk about we have both been proactive in our sexual healing recently, after recognizing that we were holding on to fears and limitations that were preventing us from experiencing ourselves at our full expression. From reprogramming fears around certain positions to premature ejaculation, this is a fully transparent and mature conversation. Listen in to hear why we attribute so much of our personal growth and transformation to our connection with our sexual energy.



39. 098: Don't Wait on External Things to Validate You (Rebroadcast)
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 13.69Mb)

Description:

How many of us rely on things outside of ourselves to validate our worth and legitimize our abilities?

In today's Monday Momtra I'm sharing a list of things that I refuse to allow to give me approval and sense of satisfaction.

The time to affirm, inspire and motivate yourself is now! You don't need the titles, the people, the experiences to be true to who you are.



40. 097: Stop Blaming Your Parents for Your Problems
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Description:

Why is it so easy to blame our parents for all of our problems?

The thing is, most of us will be faced with exploring and dealing with how we feel about our parents at one point or another. Regardless of the depth of our relationships, there’s a connection and an influence that those bonds have on us.

In today’s episode I’m walking through why and how we blame our parents for our “stuff.” Then I offer a few perspectives to try out for yourself when it comes to releasing that blame and judgement and finding some peace with the situation.

Maybe your parents were too hard on you. Maybe they didn’t push you enough. Maybe you fixate on what they did or didn’t do and because of that, you are the way you are. My question is: how does this empower you and bring you closer to healing? And how does it support you in motherhood?

You have the incredible opportunity right now to recognize and acknowledge what you can change moving forward, to create a new experience and paradigm for your children.



41. 096: Give Yourself Permission to Fall Apart
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Description:

Ever feel like losing your sh**?

In today’s Monday Momtra, I’m giving all of us permission to fall apart when we need to. Sometimes we hold onto this superhuman status that means we’re not allowed to let our emotions out, cleanse and detox the stuff that’s not serving us when it’s tucked away.

I’m sharing some personal experience of stressful and emotional times for our family and how I took on extra responsibility, emotional stress and energy. The awareness that I had of my choice to let go if and when I needed to helped me move through it.

So this week I encourage you to give yourself the space and the allowance to unravel, let the pieces fall and then pick up only the ones you need to carry you onto the next phase.

Links:

My website: https://www.sarahbivens.com/



42. 095: Why ASMR For Moms Needs To Be A Thing
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 22.91Mb)

Description:

Have you heard of ASMR?

ASMR, or autonomous sensory meridian response, according to Wikipedia is “is an experience characterized by a static-like or tingling sensation on the skin that typically begins on the scalp and moves down the back of the neck and upper spine.”

I hadn’t heard of it until a couple of weeks ago and when I first explored it I thought it was a little strange. But then I revisited with an open mind and realized that I’ve absolutely experienced this multiple times throughout my life, but just didn’t give it much attention or allow it to benefit me in ways that I now understand it can.

So I share some of my findings from diving into the world of ASMR and why I think we should carve out a niche in it just for mamas.



43. 094: Find Out What Fuels You and Take Radical Action
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Description:

What happens when you don’t put fuel in your tank?

Whether it’s your car, your cell phone or your self - stuff doesn’t work when you don’t power it up properly.

In today’s Monday Momtra, I’m going rogue from my usual note taking and outline and just spitting what comes to my mind in the moment around the topic of getting angry when things don’t work (when we didn’t take the time to care for them).

So my advice this week is to figure out what you can plug into, what you can use as fuel to support you and take massive action to make sure you take care of you!



44. 093: How to Truly Love Yourself, Shift Your Relationship with Sex and Own Your Worthiness
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 24.34Mb)

Description:

What does transformation look like?

Today is a super powerful episode that I’m so excited to bring to you. I’m sharing an excerpt from one of my coaching calls with a client, and in it we’re reflecting on her experience and the shifts in her life.

This conversation is nothing short of inspirational, as it’s a true testament to the power of believing in yourself, committing to your greatness, trusting the process and utilizing the support of people around you. This is the realness the transparency and the magic that comes from learning how to truly love yourself, creating breakthroughs in your challenges and the things that hold you back and owning your worth.



45. 092: How I Balance Being a Mom and an Entrepreneur
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Description:

How do you balance motherhood and entrepreneurship?

It’s an awesome question that has lots of flaky, delicious layers to it. Because there isn’t one direct answer or way of going about it. Everyone navigates it differently. But it’s time I addressed it on the show. And I’m doing it in a fun and different way.

I’m sharing a segment from a podcast episode that I did with my husband Matthew on the show we host together (Doing It At Home). We addressed a question on how we balance our schedules, working from home, parenting and childcare. I love this conversation because you get both parents’ perspectives. We get specific on the details of our calendar, how our weeks flow and then how we constantly check in with ourselves and remember why we’ve chosen this lifestyle.

Then I give some solo feedback at the end of the episode. This is relevant for any parent regardless of the work and lifestyle. Because these topic impact all of us as we raise our kids and also grow as individuals.



46. 091: Are You Being Kind to Yourself
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Description:

Are you being kind to yourself?

Might sound simple, but that doesn’t detract from its importance. It also needs constant reminding and evaluation.

Are your thoughts, habits and words indicative of being kind, compassionate and loving towards yourself?

In today’s Momtra, I’m reminding you to be kind to yourself and take time to acknowledge how amazing you are.

Show Notes:

BAM Tribe Group Coaching - https://www.sarahbivens.com/bamtribe



47. 090: Breakdowns In My Body and Trapped Emotions
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 36.56Mb)

Description:

“Why is this happening to me?!”

Ever ask yourself that question? I found myself asking it not too long ago. I’ve been experiencing some healing in my physical body recently and finding ways to process the thoughts and emotions around all of it.

This episode is a real, raw, transparent and vulnerable. Because I feel when I do that, I create the space for our collective growth and healing. I’m sharing some candid experiences of raging, intense UTIs that have recurred for me over the years, plus what I’m doing to address them from a WHOLEistic perspective and come out more powerful and healthy on the other side.



48. 089: Get Out Of Your F****ing Head!
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Description:

Do you get stuck inside your head sometimes?

It’s like a hamster wheel - we get all caught up in the mental processing of things that it takes us away from our present and robs us of our ever-deserving joy and peace.

In today’s Momtra, I’m reminding you of some instances where you’re totally stuck in your head, and giving you some ideas on how you can get out of it and balance yourself out.



49. 088: How Using the 5 Love Languages Keeps My Marriage Thriving
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 34.56Mb)

Description:

Do you feel like you’re receiving enough love from your partner? Do you feel like you’re giving enough?

I’m sharing one of my favorite resources with you that I use in my coaching and in my own life: “The 5 Love Languages,” a book by Gary Chapman.

I give my own overview and interpretation of the 5 love languages as well as examples of how Matthew and I incorporate a practice and exercise around the languages in our relationship. This is a great opportunity for you to take something back into your relationship and give you and your partner the chance to articulate the things you both need to feel loved and fulfilled in the partnership.

Links:

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/ https://www.sarahbivens.com/bamtribe

50. 087: The Real Key to Parenthood is Mastering Yourself
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Description:

What’s the key to being a better parent?

My answer: being a better you by working on mastering yourself. I’m talking about figuring out who you are - taking time to learn your thoughts, needs and desires.

In this Momtra I’m sharing some of my experience of addressing the many fears that pop up around what kind of parent I am and how it will affect my daughter. And the reminder that I think we all need - to come back to ourselves and deal with our own inner healing.

Links:

BAM Tribe Group Coaching - https://www.sarahbivens.com/bamtribe



51. 086: Confession: My Husband Doesn’t Make Me Happy
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 19.76Mb)

Description:

Does your spouse make you happy?

Well, mine doesn’t! I know, I know...you might be thinking WTF?! The truth is that I don’t rely on him to make me happy - to make me feel whole.

In today’s episode I’m sharing how I moved from seeking all of my emotional security and validation from partners into feeling fulfilled and complete in myself, which then created the space for the type of partner and relationship that aligns with me and what I want in life.

I’m also giving some ideas for how you can continue cultivating your own inner self-love and release any attachments or co-depencies on what your partner does or doesn’t do for you.



52. 085: Releasing Doubt and Building Your Trust and Self-Worth
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Description:

How do you increase your worthiness and trust within yourself?

In today’s Monday Momtra, I’m exploring why so many of us are riddled with self-doubt and deny our worthiness and our ability to receive what others and the world want to give us. I believe a lot of this comes from a lack of trust within ourselves.

I share a few thoughts on how to build this trust, increase our worthiness and own your life experience.

Links:

Free 30-Day Trust Challenge - www.matthewbivens.com/trust

BAM Tribe - www.sarahbivens.com/bamtribe



53. 084: I Want to Be Pregnant, But I Don't Want Another Baby Yet
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 23.58Mb)

Description:

What do you do when you want to be pregnant again, but you don’t necessarily want another actual child just yet?

In today’s episode, I’m sharing some of my very raw and unfiltered feelings around my daughter turning 2 and how I’ve processed the experience. It’s been a mix of thoughts and emotions. And then of course, it makes sense that we get questions and have conversations about growing our family. So I’m walking through how we address this and check in with our plans and desires and make sure that we’re doing what works best for us.



54. 083: The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Child
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Description:

What’s the greatest gift you can give your child?

I’m reflecting on that this week in our Monday Momtra. For one thing, my daughter turns 2 this week. Plus, this conversation came up in my life accountability group this week. It inspired me to dig a little deeper and share this topic with you.

My answer right now is taking care of myself. To show the example to Maya and reduce any worry and anxiety on her part for the future. Because I want her to know that I’m healthy and thriving.



55. 082: What I Learned From Vacation with a Toddler and a Weekend Away By Myself
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 38.34Mb)

Description:

How does traveling change when you become a parent?

Some would argue that a few things change...slightly (ha!).

In this episode I’m sharing 2 experiences of recent travel: a family vacation with Matthew and Maya - full of road trip shenanigans and a trip to urgent care and then my second solo trip as a mama.

There’s a few lessons I’ve learned in each experience and I’m sharing those takeaways. From trust and your intuition to your relationship with your partner and letting go of mom guilt.



56. 081: If You Want Change, It's Up To You
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Description:

What happens if someone doesn’t want to move beyond their bull**** and create something different?

Simple answer: nothing. They’ll stay in their bull****. Because the impetus for change in our lives has to come from an internal source.

You could have coaches, friends, loved ones give you all the advice and tell you how awesome and capable you are until they’re blue in the face, but if you don’t want it for yourself - real shift won’t happen.

In this Momtra (a day late, I know!), I’m sharing 3 things that differentiate people who don’t want to make a shift and those who do. And how you can build upon those things to strengthen your desire to make the changes and experience what you want in life.



57. 080: What Does Sex Mean for You?
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Description:

What does sex mean for you?

Have you even thought about that and broken that question down for yourself? I’ve been inspired recently by a few things I’ve watched and listened to around female sexuality and it’s brought me to a very clear conclusion: WOMEN ARE SO MORE POWERFUL.

So I go through some of my wow moments around the female’s incredible capacity for sexual energy from multiple orgasms to the magic of the clitoris. And yet, there are billions of women walking around with underutilized and untapped sexual energy.

Then I share some ideas for healing shame and judgement and limiting beliefs around sex which include honest conversations and revisiting past circumstances to release the blockages and start walking more consistently in that divine feminine orgasmic bliss!

Show Notes:

Women’s Sexuality Isn’t “Complicated” TedxTalk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQqmMVOsriI Nicole Daedone TedxTalk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9QVq0EM6g4 Netflix show “Explained” - https://www.vox.com/2018/5/23/17378322/vox-netflix-show-explained BAM Tribe Group Coaching - https://www.sarahbivens.com/bamtribe

 



58. 079 - Generally, I Have My S*** Together
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Description:

Why does it seem like the “harried mother” is the most popular type of mother?

I know noone is perfect, and I’m certainly no exception. However I do grow tired of the idea that if life isn’t constantly a hot mess and I’m not within an inch of losing all of my hair and sanity, that it’s not the real authentic experience of motherhood.

I’m not talking about the moments where it is tough. Those happen. I like to believe though, that in general, I’m doing my best and the universe is working in my favor. I don’t see the use or help in putting myself down for the fear of threatening anyone else or making them feel bad.

Today’s Momtra encourages you to acknowledge that you are doing a great job, and more things are probably in place than you think - it’s about shifting the relationship and perspective to those things. Because then you inspire and uplift others, and we all win!

Links:
BAM Tribe Group Coaching - https://www.sarahbivens.com/bamtribe



59. 078: A List of Things That Your Kids Don’t Care About
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 11.24Mb)

Description:

Why do we beat ourselves up over things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme?

Today’s Momtra is a reminder for you of just some of the things that your child(ren) doesn’t care about. These are things that when you let them go and release unhealthy fixation on, you’ll find you have more time and energy to be present with your kiddos.

Because it’s natural to get caught up in the things that we think make us more important and valuable and better moms. That’s why we check in every so often and make sure we’re on path with what aligns with who we are and who we want to be.



60. 077: Running Away From Your Fears Vs. Facing Them
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Description:

What are the fears that are holding you back in your life right now?

In today’s bonus Momtra, we’re talking about fears: facing them vs. not facing them. And spoiler alert: those scenarios don’t create the same result.

I’m also sharing some exciting news in the Balance and Motherhood community and what I’ve learned from dedicating myself to a specific habit for 30 days straight.

Links:

BAM Tribe Group Coaching - https://www.sarahbivens.com/bamtribe

61. 076: Don't Apologize for Your Emotions
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Description:

Ever apologize to someone for how you’re feeling?

I know I have. I used to say sorry all the time for having certain emotions. And I absolutely hated being called an “emotional” person. Like it meant that I didn’t think rationally or apply logic to situations. I judged myself for it and internalized people’s responses and labeled myself a “basket case.”

Fast forward and I see the incredible power of our emotions. For one thing, we have them - there’s no getting around that. And the other thing has to do with how we relate to them and process them. Having emotions is not the issue. Addressing them, allowing them and releasing them when necessary - that is more important.

In this Momtra, I’m encouraging you to quit apologizing for feeling and instead find ways to connect more deeply with yourself and understand your emotions and how to use them.



62. 075: Trust Your Internal GPS
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Description:

How do you trust your intuition?

Enter: your internal GPS. And I’m not talking about the app that you use on your phone to navigate traffic. I’m talking about the Goddess Positioning System: your internal guidance mechanism.

You have an innate sense within you of what aligns and what serves. Lots of times things get in the way and block our connection and we lose our trust in ourselves.

In today’s Momtra I invite you to practice tuning into your GPS.

And guess what - there will be a Momtra everyday this week, to make up for my being out of town last week. So get ready for a daily dose of AIM - affirmation, inspiration and motivation to flood your ear drums and empower you throughout the week!



63. 074: I’m On Vacation
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Description:

Have you taken time to unplug recently?

This is a short, sweet announcement for ya that I will be out of town this upcoming week. So no new episodes until Monday, August 27, 2018.

I’m practicing what I preach and I’m taking time to reset, recenter and practice my own sense of balance. So Matthew, Maya and I will be in Florida - enjoying quality time together.

I encourage you over this next week to unplug in your own ways. Say no to things that push your bandwidth. Take a min-mental vacation for yourself. And you know during my time away that my creative juices will be flowing and I’ll be ready to bring you some more awesome episodes shortly!



64. 073: 5 Tips for Releasing Body Insecurities
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Description:

How do you let go of insecurities and hangups around your physical body?

Today’s Monday Momtra is a listener-requested topic around this question.

I searched into some of my own healing and rescripting as it relates to loving my body as well as things I’ve observed in others, and I’m bringing you a list of 5 things you can do right now to start creating a new story and conversation - one that acknowledges how beautiful and magnificent your body is!



65. 072: My Relationship with "God"
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Description:

How do you feel about God?

In today’s episode, I’m getting real about my relationship with the man/woman/energy/source upstairs. Preface and disclaimer here that these are my own thoughts, beliefs and opinions and I am in no way making any assumptions or judgements on your own spiritual journey. I’m simply sharing a piece of my story, without any intention of offending or negating anyone else’s.

For me, connection with “God” and spiritual awareness impacts every area of my life - my health, my marriage, my role as a mother and my work. So I dive in and share some past paradigms that I needed to work through and heal in order to create a healthier relationship with elements outside of myself. Plus some things I do to stay spiritually fit.



66. 071: Be About the Endless Possibility
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Description:

Ever have those moments where certain signs from the Universe sync up and you’re left kinda dumbstruck?

Well that happened to me recently. A conversation catching up with a friend lead to a sequence of magical occurrences and all sorts of light bulbs going off for me.

So I’m sharing that experience along with the big lesson that I drew from it and I’m inviting you to explore for yourself this week in the Monday Momtra. And that is: be about the endless possibility. Want to know more? Listen in! It’s just 7 minutes of your life and an easy way to give yourself a concentrated dose of AIM - affirmation, inspiration and motivation!



67. 070 - 10 Ways to Deal with Stress and Love On Yourself Right Now
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Description:

What are some of your top choices for coping with and managing stress?

In today’s episode I’m sharing a simple and to the point list of 10 things you can do for yourself right now to help cope with a stressful situation. They don’t require much extra stuff, money or even much more time really. They’re things that can be incorporated into your life to support you in minimizing unneeded stress and maximizing your joy.

Let’s face it, the phrase “mommin’ ain’t easy” is so popular because it’s so true. It’s not easy. But it probably wouldn’t be as impactful of a life experience if everything was a piece of cake. So what if we stopped worrying about how easy or hard it is, and instead looked for tools and practices to manage ourselves more effectively in the midst of all the stuff that comes up?

In other words, there are circumstances and elements of motherhood (and life) that we can’t control. But we have choice in how we relate to the events. How we feel, how we present ourselves, the thoughts we have and our habits are all totally within our realm of influence. We have the ability to create a healthy and joyful experience of motherhood. And not just able, we are so worthy of it. To embrace and embody the magic that is birthing and caring for another life.

Because a lot of us are experiencing this thing we call motherhood. But we are not all experiencing it the same way. Some of us, at any given point in time, feel like we’re drowning. Like we’ve barely got it together. Exhausted. Overwhelmed. Imbalanced. First thing to acknowledge here is that this is okay. It’s normal. You are normal. The goal of this episode is to reach some peace and acceptance around these thoughts and feelings. Recognizing them is important. And then...it’s time to do something about it. To get back to balance. To create your own sense of homeostasis, and implement a few trusted and effective practices to help you minimize the stressors of motherhood and their effects on your wellbeing.

So let’s release the idea that the only way to gain mom street cred and be cool is to be harried and stressed and stretched beyond our capacity. Let’s get to loving on ourselves first so that we can be the best versions of ourselves, and then as a result...stellar mamas!



68. 069: 4 Things To Journal Each Day
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Description:

Do you have a practice around journaling?

I’ve been journaling in some form since I was 9 years old. I even have my first journal - it’s purple and has Winnie the Pooh on it!

Over the years my style and intention has shifted up, as you might expect. In today’s Monday Momtra episode, I’m sharing a few of the things I’ve found to be the biggest value adds to my journaling habit. They help put me in a space of peace, love and joy while practicing my artform of expressing myself and articulating my thoughts and feelings.

Try them out and see what comes up for you!



69. 068 - If I Could Punch Mom Guilt in the Face I Would
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Description:

Have you experience mom guilt? I guess a better question might be - when have you experienced mom guilt?

It’s such a pervasive, insidious thing. We wear on this shame and judgement for the things we feel like we’ve done or haven’t done that deprive our kids of something.

In this episode I’m sharing some of my own instances of guilt, the stuff around them and how I’m choosing to release them.



70. 067 - Don't Wait on External Things to Validate You
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Description:

How many of us rely on things outside of ourselves to validate our worth and legitimize our abilities?

In today's Monday Momtra I'm sharing a list of things that I refuse to allow to give me approval and sense of satisfaction.

The time to affirm, inspire and motivate yourself is now! You don't need the titles, the people, the experiences to be true to who you are.



71. 066: I Release My Attachment to Ex-Lovers
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Description:

Do you feel any sort of residual frustration around exes?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve sometimes felt the emotional aftershocks of relationships past. Whether it’s been baggage that has shown up in my current relationship or disappointment around the type of communication we’ve had since our breakups, it hasn’t served me.

So I’m here now to release the rest of my attachment, expectation and any lingering victim stuff I have around my former lovers.



72. 065: Forget Trying to Get Back to Who You Were Before Having Kids
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Description:

Ever hear the terms “pre-baby body” and “bouncing back?”

This Monday Momtra is about the concept of getting “back” to something that you were or had before having kids. And I say f*** it. I don’t think you have to work on getting back to any previous state or thing. I think you’re amazing and beautiful as you are and encourage you to keep evolving and changing and moving forward into greater versions of you.



73. 064: Doing and Being Your Best Are Different Everyday
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Description:

How can we do and be our best?

Today’s Momtra is all about how relative your “best” is.

It fluctuates. Our best in one moment or day can look different from our best in another. This is because we are incredibly dynamic creatures and life ebbs and flows.

So let today’s message give you some freedom to find peace in who you are and the space to grow into greater awareness and love of who that is.



74. 063: My First Menstrual Cup Experience
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Description:

Have you ever used a menstrual cup?

In today’s episode I’m sharing some feedback on my first time. If you’ve followed me on social media for a minute you might have seen some of my rants about menstrual care and being sick of tampons and pads.

So I’m giving you my full experience - from the days leading up to it and my preparation to some of the learning curves and realizations.

Even if you’re not interested in using one, I think this story adds to putting more positive energy around how we relate to our periods and to love our bodies unconditionally.

Show Notes

Episode 18 - Empower Your Relationship to Your Period - https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/018-empower-your-relationship-to-your-period/id1326237425?i=1000401338121&mt=2 OrganiCup Menstrual Cup - https://thebloomi.com/collections/menstrual-cycle/products/organicup-menstrual-cup

 



75. 062: The Power of Being Open and Vulnerable
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Description:

Have you ever let a past person or experience hold you back from being open and vulnerable with someone else? Or even yourself?

Sometimes people don’t appreciate when we’re brave and put ourselves out there. And then we let that suppress who we are. When that happens, not only are we hurting ourselves by not being authentic, but the world suffers a little bit from the pain of things unfulfilled.

This Momtra is a call to be open, transparent, vulnerable, bold and expressive. To release others’ approval and responses to you being yourself.

So where are you holding back? Where could you be more open and vulnerable. Take this week to think about it and practice letting go.



76. 061: Why We Resent Our Significant Others and What We Can Do to Change It
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Description:

Do you ever feel resentment toward your significant other?

No matter the reason or how big or small, resentment is a very significant thing that can pop up in relationships. And when not addressed, has serious long term effects.

So today I’m talking about the ways I’ve experienced and witness resentment in mine and other relationships. Then some ideas on what we can do or reflect on to shift those feelings. And finally I share some tips on things you can talk about with our partner to work on it together.



77. 060: But I’m A Mom Now!
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Description:

Do you feel like there are things you can’t say, do, be or have now because you’re a mom?

Whether it’s wear a certain outfit, have time to yourself, curse or enjoy sex...sometimes we use the excuse or we let others make the excuse for us that we’re excluded from parts of life now that we’ve become a mother.

Today’s Momtra is an affirmation to remind you that you are limitless. And nothing about being a mother needs to stop you or hold you back from anything you want.

So instead of “but I’m a mom!” it can be, “yeah, so I am a mom...AND…” You fill in the blank! You get to decide!



78. 059: How I Feel About Turning 30
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Description:

How do you (did you) feel about turning 30?

There’s a lot of conversation around this age milestone. So I dive into some of what I used to think about it. Imagine crying and mourning the loss of youth, looking down the hill that is life ending as we know it.

And then I talk about how I feel about it now that I’m 6 months away from this graduation into a new decade. So whatever side of 30 that you’re on, this gives you a chance to look at your present and get the fullness of the experience of the age you’re in and to look forward to what’s around the corner.


Today’s episode is sponsored by The Bloomi, an online community for women to educate themselves and purchase products around intimate care. From menstrual health, sexual wellness and women empowerment. Go to www.thebloomi.com and sign up for their newsletter for a 25% off code.



79. 058: Building Intimacy In Your Relationship with Yourself
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Description:

What does it mean to cultivate intimacy within yourself?

Do you love yourself? Do you like yourself?

Today I’m sharing some thoughts on what it looks like to invest in the most important relationship you have in your life - the one you have with yourself.

Think of it this way: intimacy - IN TO ME I SEE.



80. 057: What Breastfeeding for 21 Months Has Taught Me About Life
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Description:

What can something like breastfeeding teach you about life?

Well, that’s what I’m talking about in today’s episode. I’ve been breastfeeding my daughter Maya for 21 months now. And I’ve certainly gained some life lessons in the process. So even if you haven’t breastfed or don’t plan to, these are things you can appreciate outside of an act like nursing.

So I share the main takeaways for me, as well as some of the real, raw no-filter kinda stuff. And it’s a really fitting time to talk about it because I’m also in the process of weaning. So it’s been teaching me about transition, being aware of how I’m relating to choices in my life and what I can do to influence myself powerfully within them.

Today’s episode is sponsored by The Bloomi, an online community for women to educate themselves and purchase products around intimate care. From menstrual health, sexual wellness and women empowerment. Go to www.thebloomi.com and sign up for their newsletter for a 25% off code.

Breast milk jewelry company I mention - milk + honey - https://www.milkandhoney.jewelry/



81. 056: Stop Putting Unhealthy Expectations on Your Relationships and Enjoy People Where They're At
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Description:

Do you have any relationships in your life that you wish were different?

Do you have people that you wish you could change?

Today’s Monday Momtra throws out an idea for dealing with some of this - enjoy people where they’re at. Stop trying to put expectations and things on a relationship that aren’t necessarily in alignment with the type of energy and frequency you’re seeking.

It’s natural to want things for people - to see their potential and hold space for that. But what if we could put judgement aside, and just enjoy what we can get out of how we’re able to receive someone at any particular point in life. I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT SETTLING FOR CRAPPY RELATIONSHIPS. I’m saying that if someone is in your life, and you continue to keep them there - appreciate the variety in the different types of connections you can create and have. It’s about reading the situation and being able to show up to it in a way that works for you, brings value and you also get something out of the exchange.

They can be themselves. You can be yourself. And you can grow from there.



82. 055: Grand Opening of the Newest Spot in Town: The Back Door
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Description:

How many honest and mature conversations have you heard about anal sex?

“Woah, wait...what? Anal sex? Is that really what I just read - on a show called Balance and Motherhood??”

Yes indeed!

If you’ve listened to the show before, you’ve probably gathered that I’m not afraid to be transparent and vulnerable. Welp - here we go! A continuation from a brief discussion in one of the previous sex series episodes.

If you’re like me, no one talked to you in real way about anal sex, other than judgements and jokes. So that’s what I’m doing today. Just having a casual conversation on some of my experience and take on the whole thing.

Sponsor of today’s episode: www.thebloomi.com



83. 054: When You Make a Decision, Own It
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Description:

Ever have to make a compromise in your life? Of course you have, you’re human! It’s basically part of the experience, so long as you’re choosing to interact with any other humans. It’d be impossible to count the number of decisions we make in a day. From the big to the small. Some of them are bound to be more towards the bottom of our list of preference. So how do you deal with those choices. Do you accept them and move on, or tend to linger a bit longer in the resistance and frustration around doing something that you don’t really wanna do? For me, in my past I held resentment around things I chose...but begrudgingly. I expected something in return from the people involved - emotional penance. I wanted people to feel bad or beholden to me for settling for them. So I’d piss and moan and huff and puff. And the person it was hurting the most was ME. This Momtra is all about owning your decisions - all of them. And being in a peaceful space about it. For your own wellbeing and benefit!



84. 053: A Moment When I Thought About Giving Up
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Description:

Ever have a pivotal moment in your life that you feel like it could go either way?

Meaning it could lead to total breakdown or total breakthrough.

I’m opening up today and getting real, raw, vulnerable and transparent with you about some events that built upon each other and brought me to a space of feeling cracked, or better yet - shattered completely into a million pieces.

I went into the doldrums of the mind and spirit and basically questioned everything about my existence. I walk you through the process - from sexual intimacy and healing to rejecting feedback and advice to releasing toxic energy and the need to please everyone. I believe everyone can relate to at least one aspect of this experience.

It’s fascinating what shows up and what possibilities unfold when you feel like you’re in your darkest hour. This is one of those stories.
This episode is sponsored by The Bloomi, an online community for women to find organic and non-toxic intimate care products. Go to www.thebloomi.com and sign up for their newsletter to learn more and receive a 25% discount code.



85. 052: What Does It Look Like to Be in Your Power
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Description:

What does it look like to be in your power?

I can’t answer that question for you. It’s up to you. The thing is that we’re not always encouraged to believe that it is actually up to us. We get to determine and proclaim how we want to feel and who we want to be.

We don’t have to buy the ideas or the orders of what others want to pass on to us - whether it’s parents, spouses, friends or culture.

This Momtra is about putting yourself in that space of full tilt. Uncensored. Pure. What do you experience in those moments when you’re fully connected, plugged in and turned on for your life? How do you feel physically, mentally, emotionally? What are you doing and saying and thinking and experiencing?

Let’s get a clear picture of what that looks like. So we can then take that and use it as an inspiration and driver for being that woman as often as possible. To let our average state be that of joy.



86. 051: A Mission Statement Will Change Your Life
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Description:

Ever ask yourself these questions: Who am I? Why am I here? What’s my greater purpose?

Chances are that we all do, multiple times and at all different stages of our lives. If not to find the answers, to check in on those answers and affirm them and explore how they evolve.

Today’s episode is going to help with that process. First off, I read my personal mission statement to you - something that I’ve received a lot of feedback and questions on in my life.

Then I give you my secret sauce. I’m giving you the tools and coaching I give my clients. I unpack the process of establishing your own personal mission statement. Because this stuff is incredibly valuable and I want everyone to have it in their toolbelt of being a badass and balanced mama and woman.

When you have a clear mission statement, standards and values for your life -- and you stand for it and you hold it -- you lay this stake in the ground and create something on which you can move with powerful conviction. And I guarantee it impacts every aspect of your life from your health to your work to your relationships.

You’ll want a pen and paper or the notes app of your phone for this one to go through the following stages:

What are your core values? What are your gifts, talents and passions? What do your environments look like? Write your mission statement!

And if you’re ready to explore this for yourself with extra support and accountability, I have spots available for one-on-one balanced lifestyle coaching. Please reach out with any questions to balanceandmotherhoodpodcast[at]gmail[dot]com!



87. 050 - Take Responsibility for Your Bull****
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Description:

Where are you holding onto bull**** in your life that you need to let go of?

Today’s episode is a bit of mini-coaching session. A Monday Momtra with some punch. Tough love. Bold compassion. A gentle kick in the ass if you will. Because that’s what I’m here for and I got you, boo.

I don’t know exactly where you’re bull****ting yourself in your life or what it looks like but I can guarantee that we’re all working with some level of denial around something. And it helps to have others around us to hold us accountable, and ask the questions that help us explore and bring clarity.

And if you’re ready to start releasing this bull****, to take it to the next level and you’re clear it’s going to take some extra support, tools and accountability, I am here for you! I have a few coaching slots open this summer for one-on-one lifestyle coaching, in various time frames and capacities. If you’re serious about owning your sense of balance and experiencing it fully, boldly, unapologetically….reach out to me right now. Because it’s your life! What’s more important than that?!



88. 049: Find Excitement and Possibility in the Breakdown
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Description:

When you think about the emotions that come up in a challenging or painful situation, is excitement one of them?

Usually not, right?

But what if it was? What if it could be? I say we open ourselves up to the possibility that something can be rebuilt from the ashes of our breakdown. I didn’t always use to think this way though.

Today I’m sharing a situation that inspired me to explore the process of moving beyond the grief, frustration or anger that pops up in life circumstances. And it actually led to a couple of epiphanies around my past and future related to parenting, marriage and self-care.

So what are your challenges right now? And what are your possibilities within those challenges? I have a feeling this episode will prompt you to start looking at things differently and seeing opportunities to power up and experience more joy in your life, regardless of the things that get thrown at you.



89. 048: You Need to Think Outside the Box to Make Shift Happen in Your Life
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Description:

How do we solve those problems that pop up in our lives that just seem so unconquerable?

They either seem so big that we can barely wrap our minds around them or they repeat and recycle so often that the pattern seems unbreakable.

I’m pulling some wisdom from the great Albert Einstein for this one. A powerful quote to jumpstart some possibilities for moving forward. To create something different. To connect with ourselves, others and life. To put ourselves outside the box, change the perspective a bit, and level up in our mode of thinking and being.

Let this Momtra empower you this week with some Affirmation, Inspiration and Motivation to get creative with your problem solving, and be a badass while you do it!



90. 047: BONUS Mother’s Day Episode: The Story of the Day I Became a Mama
http://balanceandmotherhood.li... download (audio/mpeg, 65.13Mb)

Description:

What was it like when you became a mama?

I love the journey of motherhood because we all have different beginnings and awareness around when and how the experience begins.

For some just thinking about becoming a mom is the beginning - no matter how old you were. Putting yourself in the space and visualization of being someone’s mama. For others it might be the moment they discovered they were pregnant. And then there’s birth day, or adoption day for many mamas.

In today’s episode, I’m sharing the story of the day I gave birth to my daughter Maya. It’s a rebroadcast from the podcast I host with my husband Matthew and I mention every now and then on the show, The Doing It At Home Podcast. The conversation is me, Matthew and baby Maya nuzzled on his chest, sitting in our bed with a recorded between us, about 6 days after our birth.

We go through the whole process of early labor, active labor, our team arriving and all the people we had at our house to support us, the birth and some of the initial postpartum experience as we settled into life as a family of 3.



91. 046: Things You Should Be Doing Naked
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Description:

Do you feel comfortable being naked?

In today’s episode I’m diving into some of the programming around the shame we acquire towards our naked bodies. Because clearly issues around our nakedness are not inherent. We learn to cover up and hide and pervert our natural state. Where and how do we come up with those disempowering thoughts and beliefs?! (I have a few ideas on that…)

I’m also sharing some of the ways I’ve overcome my fear, anxiety and judgement around rocking my birthday suit. Then I get into fun ideas for things you can do naked in your daily life. Some are from my own naked self-love and care regimen and some are suggestions from fellow goddesses via social media.

The main thing I want to emphasize here is that no matter how often or what you do naked, it’s incredibly powerful to just love your body and embrace its pure, raw, beautiful essence.

Challenge yourself to be naked with intention after you listen to this. And heck -- listen while naked. Spoiler: I recorded the episode in the nude!
My Elephant Journal article: https://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/11/how-3-experiences-helped-me-stop-my-body-shaming-start-loving-my-naked-self/



92. 045: You're Not Responsible For Anyone Else's Feelings
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Description:

Ever feel like it is your job to make someone feel a certain way? Like you are responsible for their well being?

Whether it is parents, spouses or children, we sometimes rope ourselves into the impossible task of taking on the emotional responsibility of another person's emotions.

I am here to tell you that this is not your charge. Be responsible for what you can influence. YOUR thoughts, words and habits.

Today's Mamtra is a reminder to release the extra baggage that is not yours to carry. Listen in and move into another week empowered with some affirmation, inspiration and motivation.



93. 044: What I’ve Learned About Friendship in Motherhood
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Description:

How do you make friends when you become a mom?

This is one of the many questions I know I asked myself when I entered into this new phase of life, and I’m sure others do as well.

There’s so much other stuff that swirls around the topic of friendship: how do they evolve, what happens when people grow apart, what about my friends that don’t have kids, and how do I make time for these relationships?

I’m sharing some of the things I’ve learned about forging, keeping and releasing friendships. Also what it looks like to set intentions and boundaries with friendships.

And one of my secrets - the power of the acquaintance. Find out what I mean by that and all the other fun stuff in this episode. Because remember - friendship is the best ship! (c’mon...I HAD to throw that corny joke in there...it’s too good not to!)



94. 043: You Don’t Need to Hide in Someone Else’s Shadow
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Description:

Ever feel like you’re stuck in the expectation or vision that someone else has of you?

Today’s Momtra is about staying away from the shadows of others - the dark places we can sometimes find ourselves when we want to hide from our own thoughts and desires.

Because it’s our purpose to shine, not duck way and play small.

The world needs you to be authentic and leave mediocrity behind. So listen in for your dose of weekly AIM - affirmation, inspiration and motivation!



95. 042: How to Tell What Advice to Take and How to Take It
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Description:

Today's episode is all about how to listen to advice, how to receive feedback, and when to ignore advice.



96. 041: Let Go of the Imposter Syndrome
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Description:

Ever feel like you have no idea what you’re doing and that people will find out and expose you for the fraudulent hot mess that you are?

This Monday Momtra is about releasing the imposter syndrome, a debilitating condition that is affecting mothers everywhere. It renders sufferers unable to acknowledge their awesomeness and as a result are paralyzed with fear in moving forward into furthering their awesomeness. Commonly paired with paranoia that others will discover inadequacies and exploit them.

This looks like the general feeling of “I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m doing a terrible job, and/or my kids would be better off with someone else.”

It’s time to own our abilities and shine our confidence. There’s no motherhood tribunal that is waiting to swoop in and label you as a failure.

The truth is that you got this. You are it. And there ain’t nothing fake about what you have to offer the world.



97. 040: Reconciling Past White Guilt with Raising a Mixed-Race Daughter
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Description:

How do you heal, reconcile and accept parts of you that you hold guilt and resentment towards?

One of these lessons that I’ve gotten the opportunity to face in this experience of motherhood has been releasing past feelings of guilt, judgement and disconnectedness with the color of my skin.

This episode was inspired by my amazing husband, who recently did his own episode on his podcast “Having It ALL,” about growing up biracial and his challenges and breakthroughs around his identity. As we talked about our experiences growing up and relationships to race, culture and belonging, he encouraged me to explore more of what was coming up for me as I realized I let my issues around my skin color impact a lot of how I felt about myself for many years.

I held onto what some use the term “white guilt” to describe. For much of my adolescence and young adulthood I remember wishing I could look different, and feeling like I didn’t have a cultural identity. As a staunch people pleaser from a young age, I couldn’t stand the idea that who I was or how I looked offended anyone.

So this episode is a process of sharing and healing for me. Going back to those early years and uncovering how this was created and what I chose to take on energetically to fuel the feelings of guilt. Then how it traveled into dating and choice of romantic partners.

It would bring up questions in me like “What do I say? How do I act? How can I be in alignment with my true self?” And now - how do I create a new paradigm in which I can be a powerful mother to a mixed race daughter? How do I release my “stuff” so that I can support her in feeling comfortable, loved, affirmed in her own skin?

Balanced Mama Moments Album - https://www.sarahbivens.com/balanced-mama-moments



98. 039: Everyone Has Their Thing
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Description:

Ever feel like you’re not doing enough, like you’re not quite measuring up to all the amazing things everyone else is up to?

Today’s Momtra is about releasing the comparison compulsion. I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I watch, read or listen to something about someone rocking it in their specific field or interest, I feel like I need to be doing that thing too. I have to be eating all organic, crafting Pinterest board worthy items, mastering yoga and meditation and be the expert on everything that ever existed.

This pressure we put on ourselves is insane. And the belief that we have to know it all and do it all...well that’s a recipe for disaster.

The point I want to hit home here is that everyone has their “thing.” And it is possible to stay in our lanes while we celebrate other people in theirs. And ultimately, you gotta do you.



99. 038: Why I Didn’t Want A Daughter
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Description:

Ever have something happen in your life that you once swore would never happen? Even more - it was something you were extremely afraid of?

For me, this happened in the form of having my daughter Maya. I’ve been pretty open in the past in social media and in conversations about my intense anxiety and fear in the past around having a daughter. In this episode, I explore that further and give a more detailed timeline of feelings and events that led up to that.

From thinking I’d pass on all my issues to my resentment of men. And then some of the unsolicited outside feedback from people when they learn you’re having a girl.

Whether you’re a mother to a girl or boy, or not a parent, the essence of this is taking the opportunity to explore the fears about our lives that hold us back, how we can examine them and learn from them to rise above them.



100. 037: Stop Looking for Things to Be Stressed About
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Description:

Why do we look for things to be stressed about?

Seriously, all of us at one time or another are actively searching for and almost pursuing the things that bring us frustration.

Why do we want to deny the possibility that things can flow with ease, that we are powerful and capable? It’s like we want confirmation that we have to struggle.

Well this is your reminder to stop doing that! And start trusting in the idea that life can flow and that things are okay.



101. 036: How Being an Abundant Lover Makes Me a Better Mother
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Description:

What is abundant love?

What is love to you? What’s the purpose of sex for you?

There are a lot of boxes for different lovestyles: monogamy, non-monogamy, polyamory, polygamy, polyandry, polygyny, open marriage, swingers….any others I’m forgetting?

This is a super personal episode and I’m sharing some big, bold and authentic truths with you about my marriage and identity as an individual.

Here’s how it’s going to flow...I’m going to answer the following questions:

What is Abundant Love? How did I realize I was an abundant lover? What lessons have I learned from this process? How does it make me a better mother?

I’m putting it all on the table. Practicing BEING about what I talk about and encourage on the show. So here it is, folks. Here I am. Enjoy!

Matthew’s podcast episode of our discussion on Abundant Love: https://www.havingitallpodcast.com/

Marianne Williamson’s “A Woman’s Worth”: https://www.amazon.com/Womans-Worth-Marianne-Williamson/dp/0345386574


“Sex At Dawn”: https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Dawn-Stray-Modern-Relationships/dp/1491512407



102. 035: 3 Things to Help You Find Gratitude When the S*** Hits the Fan
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Description:

Why can’t we ever find gratitude in the midst of s*** hitting the fan? Why does it always have to be weeks, months or years later before we can realize, “oh yeah...that thing that I thought was awful...it was actually great for me and I’m glad that it happened.”

Retrospectively finding the gratitude and the growth is a great practice, and one I think we’ll continue to do. I also think there’s tremendous opportunity to set some things in place to support us in real-time gratitude when stuff goes awry.

So in this episode, I’m sharing a quick list of things that can help you in those moments. I’m calling them the 3 P’s (super innovative I know! haha). So not just what they are, but specific examples of things within each of those areas.

Can you think of a situation where you could’ve lost all your marbles, but instead were able to navigate yourself through it - like Neo in The Matrix dodging bullets? What did you do, and what helps you stay grateful despite life’s challenges?



103. 034: Send Love and Thanks to Those Who Limited You
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Ever have someone tell you that you can’t do something? Or people who didn’t believe in you and fed you disempowering beliefs about yourself?

Well here’s an idea - send love and gratitude to those people. Say whaaaat? Yes. I’m talking about being grateful for the opportunities that those people and situations created for you to rise above, to make something different. Because gratitude is far more productive than resentment.

And for me, the situations where I did overcome something that someone once had me believing I couldn’t...I feel that much more powerful as a result.

So in this episode I talk about a few examples of limiting perspectives that were once offered to me, and why I’m thankful for them. Before that, I touch on my recent visit with my mom and some great opportunities that gave me to share my voice, speak my truth and remember who I am.

And for any Atlanta area listeners, come say hi to me at the ATL Area Moms Blog event Bloom 2018 in Kennesaw on April 15, 2018. I’ll be moderating a panel discussion of experts on things motherhood. So any expecting mamas or seasoned mamas planning to grow their family, come check out the event!

Website for Bloom 2018 - https://atlanta.citymomsblog.com/



104. 033: Upgrade the Cup You Bring to the Shore of Abundance
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Do you have your hands out wide and open and ready to receive what the world wants to give you?

In today’s episode I’m expanding upon a prosperity visualization exercise from one of my favorite books “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay.

Imagine we all get the chance everyday to step up to the shoreline of the abundant ocean that is the life experience. What will you bring to collect your reward? And what’s it saying about your conversations around worthiness and wealth?

This week, think about where you can open up and expand your idea of prosperity, own your worthiness and truly receive!



105. 032: Dare to Be Too Much
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Why are we so scared to speak up at times?

In this episode, I challenge you to drop the act of playing small, and to be TOO MUCH. Yes. Be bold, fearless and unapologetic.

I talk about how the movie “I, Tonya” inspired this conversation, what compassion is for me, and what the consequences are of staying silent and shutting yourself down.

What are some ways you can express your voice more fully, challenge what’s expected or what’s been and bust through some fears and things that make you uncomfortable? I dare you - BE TOO MUCH!



106. 031: Your Body is Beautiful
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What’s the first thought you have when you look in the mirror?

I’m not going to tell you what it should be, but I can share the intention I hold for you and myself and every other woman - that it is some form of expression of “I AM BEAUTIFUL.”

Because you are. Your physical body is an amazing machine that works so hard for you day in and day out. And it’s always working towards getting back to a state of healing. It’s truly remarkable and nothing short of a miracle.

And we wanna get bent out of shape when there’s something “off” with it - something is out of place or too big or too small.

Today’s Monday Momtra is a short and sweet reminder to love on your body and all its splendor.



107. 030: Sex Series Part 3: Why Every Mom Needs an Orgasm a Day
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Could you picture your life with an orgasm every day?

There was a time when I would’ve answered “no” to that question. And even if it were possible, and was essentially presented to me on a silver platter, I would’ve turned it down.

But not anymore! Nope - now I’m clear - that an orgasmic state of being is the key to greater health, wealth and joy. And this is my wish for every mama out there - to walk in and basque in the glow of abundant and orgasmic bliss.

Does this mean sexual intercourse every single day? Maybe, if that’s what you want. But it certainly doesn’t have to look like that. There are ways to tune in and turn on that have nothing to do with penetration.

So in this episode, we go on an epic journey. We cover a lot of bases here, so buckle up! From the inspiration to this episode and how a sexually satisfied woman is more likely to access her greatest dreams and desires, to Fifty Shades of Grey and the culture around pornography, some of my own experience with porn, sex toys, oral pleasure, the back door, boobs and sharing your sexual history with your partner.

There’s no one way to mother, to create balance in your life OR to tap into your sexuality. Make it your own and feel empowered while “doing it” (ayooo!)! Hope this helps spark some ideas for ya. Enjoy!

Links from the episode for you:

Nicole Daedone Tedx Talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9QVq0EM6g4 One Taste - https://onetaste.us/ School of Greatness Podcast with Tererai Trent - https://lewishowes.com/podcast/i-tererai-trent-awaken-full-potential-achieve-impossible/ Erika Lust Tedx Talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9LaQtfpP_8&t=7s&index=21&list=PLKIfDodTws9VhQzmq6TQbGjzul6cKQKSA† Erika Lust website - https://erikalust.com/ Kim Anami - http://kimanami.com/

 



108. 029: Visiting the Ghosts of Your Past
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Description:

Ever take the time to look back on previous versions of yourself in different situations?

When you might have been going through a stressful circumstance like a breakup, family conflict or health issue. And then have you been able to look at the situation, remember it and all the emotions and everything that came up, but not necessarily feel them anymore? Like you’re able to objectively view the event as a third party. It was once a part of you, but you no longer identify with it, or have to be emotionally attached to it.

I had this experience recently when I listened to a song that once carried me through the hard times of a breakup. It was as if the spirits from Christmas Carol took me to visit my past, or I looked into the pensieve of Harry Potter world. I saw me...but it wasn’t me anymore. I didn’t wear the experience on as my own anymore. I could look at “old me” and have understanding and compassion for her, be grateful for her even, but not have to feel her disempowering thoughts and emotions.

Recognizing this kind of shift, progress, growth, healing...is extremely powerful and necessary in the journey of discovering, defining and loving yourself.

So this week I challenge you to take a look at some past situations and see what comes up and where we send continued healing and honor ourselves in our process.



109. 028: Trust, Honesty and Authenticity in Relationships: An Episode of The Having it ALL Podcast
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Are your relationships honest and authentic?

This is a great question to chew on, and explore how you can become more effective in relationship building - starting first and foremost with yourself, and then extending that into how and with whom you connect.

This episode is an “intermission” if you will in the midst of our sex series on the podcast. I share some of my truth in the intro on how I determined that recording the episode for this week wasn’t the best move for me. So instead I decided to take the opportunity to learn some things about myself, be honest and keep moving forward. That sometimes self-love and self-care means saying “when.”

So I’m sharing an episode from my amazing husband’s podcast that I know will resonate given the topic of conversation lately. Matthew hosts his own show called Having It ALL - it’s been featured in iTunes new and noteworthy podcasts and has been hanging out amongst some of the highest ranked health and wellness/self-help ever since he started it. This man is a beast (in an awesome way). He’s real with it. Gets right to the core. Powerful, inspiring, and sexy as hell (I’m not biased!).

This episode is about trust, honesty and authenticity in relationships. He addresses a listener email and gets into the nitty gritty of what happens when you close yourself off from letting people in, and then how you can hold space for others to grow trust.

I love the topic because it feeds the sex conversation in an indirect way. Building trust is HUGE in the bedroom. So snack on this delicious morsel while I cook up next week’s part 3 of our sex series and enjoy listening to the guy that I get to work with, sleep with and raise babies with!

https://www.havingitallpodcast.com/



110. 027: Know When The Bull**** You’re Carrying Is Not Your Own
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Description:

Ever have feelings that come up, but they don’t entirely feel like yours?

As perceptive, sensitive, powerful and intuitive creatures (go us!) we can have a tendency to carry on other people’s stuff. Their bull**** to be frank.

I recently have an emotional release around disempowering thoughts and emotions that felt very strange to me. Foreign and yet familiar. Like a temporary possession. I felt like I didn’t have control over it.

It got me thinking about how and why we’re able to pick up on things around us. Essentially, they are mental and emotional viruses - looking for hosts to inhabit and grow within. In order for a virus to thrive and multiply, the space its targeted has to have all the components to support it. And then something within that space activates the virus. I think our energetic garbage is the same way. Those things that we take on from other people connect with a space within us that match up with the root of the thought or feeling.

So what do we do about it? Well first, it’s helpful to acknowledge that this happens, and while we may not be able to avoid this from happening completely, there are things we can do to boost our emotional and mental immune systems and protect ourselves. It’s about healthy doses of vitamin C - consistency in our self-love and self-care habits to bolster our emotional well-being, and periodic purging - releasing people, places and things that are agents for these viruses.

This is especially helpful for any of you empaths out there. Allow our gifts of intuition and compassion to create opportunities for connection with ourselves and others rather than unhealthy emotional attachment.



111. 026: Sex Series Part 2: Loving Your Vagina
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Would you say you love your vagina? Why or why not?

I think it’s so important for women to have a healthy relationship to their vagina, and for us to teach our young daughters, nieces, cousins, etc. to love it too.

When I googled “self care for your vagina” - all that comes up is the sterile, medical-type information and conversation. “Keep it clean...keep it dry...don’t douche...use lube!” Kthankscoolbyeeee. Where’s the conversation about how friken awesome vaginas are...how resilient, powerful and magnificent??

So in this episode and in part 2 of the sex series on the show, it’s all about the yoni. I share an intimate letter I wrote to mine (actually inspired by a man writing a letter to his penis - so yay for sex positive conversations with our genitalia!). I go through years of how I related to it, and how I was preparing myself for birth 2 years ago - I knew I needed to do some emotional healing around my lady parts before they brought a baby into the world.

And then I get realllllyyyy intimate and share a recent experience I had with my husband Matthew in the bedroom and how it was a speechless moment of rescripting unhealthy and shameful conversations around my vagina.

Plus some tips on how to show your yoni some love!Resources:

https://www.jaysongaddis.com/a-letter-to-my-cck/ https://www.diahpodcast.com/single-post/Sex-While-Pregnant-The-Ins-The-Outs-The-Reach-Arounds-Rebroadcast https://www.diahpodcast.com/single-post/The-Postpartum-Sex-Episode-Having-Our-Best-Sex-After-Baby https://www.diahpodcast.com/single-post/Sex-After-Having-Kids---How-We-Keep-Our-Sex-Life-Burning-As-New-Parents

 



112. 025: You Have to Take Care of Yourself Before You Take Care of Anyone Else
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Why is it important to take care of yourself so that you can take care of others?

We hear this a lot -- how can you love someone if you don’t love yourself. You need to make sure you’re filled up before tending to others….but WHY??

I was chatting about this point with my beloved husband Matthew, who brought up the solid point that we often hear this phrase, repeat it to others but don’t fully get it or buy into it. Or sometimes view it in a limited context and don’t really connect with it. It’s just something nice to say.

SO AGAIN - WHY?

I have some thoughts, and I’m gonna share them (obviously!) haha

First off, you can’t teach and demonstrate what you don’t know and don’t actively practice yourself.

It’s about capacity. It’s a simple logic and equation of input and output. And you can’t keep giving out without refueling. The most efficient way would be to recharge at a faster rate than you expel that energy. But that takes time and practice. And we’re all learning and growing here.

It’s like a battery. You can’t power something that requires a D battery with a AAA.

So not taking care of yourself is trying to power something that requires more energy than you can supply.

It’s a matter of capacity. Increase your capacity -- increase your output.

So how do you increase your capacity? I give some examples for ya to chew on!



113. 024: Sex Series Part 1: Past Thoughts and Beliefs Around Sex
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Can you remember some of the first thoughts and beliefs you had around sex? What created and influenced them? What helped feed them or eventually release them? And how are they impacting you now as a sexual being and sensual goddess? (Oh, because you are those things in case you didn’t realize - I hold that space for myself and every woman - to express that divine feminine within us all!)

So here we go - the sex series. I’m sure it won’t be the only one as they’re SO MUCH to cover. But we’ll start here. And in this first part I share a lot of my old beliefs around sex that hover around the status of virginity (and a girl’s need to keep that status), Disney princess fantasies, where I received most of sexual education, penis phobias and how I feel about the emergence of sexuality in young women. We as a society have no idea what to do when a young woman comes into her sexuality and seeks to express it. So we do our best to stifle it and stamp it (them) out.

I also share my feelings on monogamy. I’ll just leave it at that and you can listen in to see what I’m talking about.

And finally, the examples I want to show for my daughter Maya - and the space I want to create for her to love her body, express herself, talk to me and ask me questions and have a healthier relationship to sex than I did while growing up.

Oh and get excited for part 2 in the series where I’m gonna be talking about the importance of loving your yoni and honoring her in all her glory!

Have questions or comments you want me to include at the end of the series? Email me at balanceandmotherhoodpodcast[at]gmail.com.

And here are the awesome women-owned small businesses I mentioned at the top of the episode:

https://www.instagram.com/bee_and_mae/ https://www.instagram.com/taurusandtwine/

114. 023: Be the Love and Own What You Feel
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Description:

How do we deal with our emotions? First - we allow ourselves to feel them. Let them come up, no matter how ugly, and let them out. Do not stifle them. They are there to teach us something.

In this week’s Momtra - I let some of my emotions out and how I’ve been processing the recent events of the shooting in Parkland, Florida. Understanding all of that, I’m affirmed in the need to choose love and heal ourselves to heal our world.

Be the love. Feel what you’re feeling. Be unapologetic in both of those pursuits.

I also share a story of a random act of kindness that had a profound impact on me and brought me to tears. Also, the best jar of spaghetti sauce I’ve ever purchased (huh? Yes, you read that right - I promise, they’re related).

Reminder: you are a precious gift. You are worthy of love and joy. Your feelings are valid. You are not alone.

Show Notes:

https://www.gofundme.com/stonemandouglasvictimsfund https://www.facebook.com/klgandhoda/videos/10156140937826350/

115. 022: Tell Jealousy and Guilt to F*** Off
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Why do we let jealousy and guilt overtake us and jerk us around sometimes? They are such useless emotions, in my opinion, and yet the damage they can leave both internally and externally is quite astounding.

In this episode (which is not a great one to listen to with little ears around, FYI - salty language used here!), I invite you to join me in telling your jealousy and guilt to go f*** off. In the most polite and dignified way of course! But really though, that sh** has got to go.

In my experience, jealousy pops up when there is fear and/or lack around 2 things - resources and love. I go into some more specifics on what that looks like, and where I can experience jealousy.

And guilt - it’s an intense judgement on ourselves that we’ve done something wrong or that we should have done something differently. A big area of guilt for mamas - TIME. How it’s spent and if we ever take any of it for ourselves.

Once we’ve identified the tiny gremlins that are jealousy and guilt, how do we get rid of them? I give some tips on how we can address them and some new beliefs and thought patterns to practice, to flip the disempowering jealous emotions and do something with them that will add to our sense of wellbeing rather than eat away at it.



116. 021: Believe in Yourself and Have Faith
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What does it mean to believe in yourself? What is faith? And how do those two things create your reality?

It might seem super transcendental, but it doesn’t have to be. In this week’s Monday Momtra, I’m diving into a topic that came up during a meetup with some fellow goddess friends.

Essentially: we don’t have to rely on certain things happening in our lives in order to have confidence in who we are. It’s the confidence in ourselves, the belief, that allows for the manifesting to occur. In other words, our thoughts create our life experience. The experience does not create our thoughts.

So this week I want you to think about where you could strengthen your belief in yourself, and where you could cultivate more faith (and what that word even means to you).

We didn’t come here just to experience results. What about the process, and even before that - the conception of the thought and the idea? When we’re attached to results, we can be let down, disappointed, even depressed. But if we focus on the belief and tend to the faith, our joy is not dependent on a thing or circumstance. We can have rich relationships, abundant self-love, vibrant health and fulfilled passions and desires when we believe in our ability to do so, and have faith that we are worthy of it all.



117. 020: A Course in Weight Loss: A Conversation Between Fat Me and Skinny Me
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Description:

Ever want to yell at parts of yourself that aren’t doing you want them to do?

Maybe not just physical parts - but almost like there are different versions of yourself within you that fight against each other and create disconnection and frustration. Like the part of you that wants to workout and eat healthy versus the part that wants to veg out on the couch all day. Or the part of you that wants to be bold and expressive and the other part that wants to stay small and hold your truth in.

In today’s episode I’m taking a lesson from Marianne Williamson’s book “A Course in Weight Loss,” and I’m opening up a dialogue between the two selves I like to call “Fat Me” and “Skinny Me.”

The practice is to allow the two selves (whatever versions of you that are at odds) to communicate and share everything that comes up for them. It could (in fact it probably will) get ugly. Let it out. Leave no stone unturned. Vent, curse, cry...really let them have it. Because that’s where the space for better understanding and compassion can be created. And we can integrate the parts of ourselves to work together rather than battle each other.

So I wrote letters - you could also write letters, or record conversations...whatever works for you. You don’t have to share the conversation with anyone, or even tell anyone that you’ve done it. And I read my letters for you as an example of the process. Maybe it sparks some ideas for your dialogue or resonates in certain aspects and helps you start to heal that area that could use some love and understanding.

What parts of yourself are butting heads? Maybe it’s time to let them loose in the rink and just go at it.



118. 019: Bring The F***Ing Cheese Puffs
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Ever gone to a party and been totally bummed that they didn’t have your favorite snack or beverage?

Hang in there with me, because I’m going somewhere with this. Today’s Momtra is inspired by a boss I had a few years back. In one of our weekly brainstorm/energy pump-up sessions, he gave us a little analogy about a friend of his who was feeling stuck and frustrated. The solution he found can be linked back to my original question. See, in the friend’s case, he was bummed when he showed up to a lot of places and did almost anything. Because he was relying on something outside of himself to bring the happy. The fix became showing up and bringing exactly what he wanted to experience. So if he was going to a party, and wanted some f***ing cheese puffs, HE would bring the cheese puffs.

So this week, think about where you could bring the cheese puffs. Where you could liven things up a bit and start with yourself, before worrying about whatever kind of spread other people are laying out. Life’s too precious and too awesome to be less than enthusiastic about it.

Listen in and get that extra AIM for your week: affirmation, inspiration and motivation with the weekly Monday Momtra.



119. 018: Empower Your Relationship To Your Period
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Why do we feel embarrassed about our periods?

This past week when I got the flu - I also started my menstrual cycle. Yay, right? Maybe it was because I had nothing to do but rest up and let my body heal by staying in bed all day, or the power of the full moon (which my cycle is now synced up with - pretty cool!), but it got me thinking about our conversations and relationships to our periods - going back to when we first started menstruating.

So I share my own “right of passage” tale of when I got my first period. Oh, also I mention the fact that I had faked getting my period years before it actually started - to feel more accepted amongst girls in my class who were “maturing” early.

I talk about some of the shame and guilt that gets laid down at a young age - encouraging us to reject this part of our body and its natural process. Like have you ever felt awkward and embarrassed buying pads or tampons in the store? Ever been paralyzed with the fear that you’ve bled through your clothes at the most inopportune time? Or felt weird even asking questions about it (or Googling it like me...incognito window anyone??)?

Motherhood changed and healed a lot for me around menstruation. And my desire for women (and my daughter when the time comes to guide her) is to embrace the process. To embrace the fullness of our bodies and all they are capable of. To own our periods, own our power and hold the space for our divine feminine awesomeness! You don’t have to hide or feel ashamed!

How has your relationship to your period evolved over the years? How do you feel about it now?



120. 017: Stop Beating Yourself Up Over Beating Yourself Up
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Ever get mad at yourself for how you handle a situation? Anyone? And then proceed to judge and shame yourself more over what you did or didn’t do?!

Well I did that last week - in the midst of setting intentions to “be selfish” like I said in last Monday’s Momtra. I got an opportunity to practice my intention, and when it didn’t go well - I realized I wasn’t honoring myself in the process. And it led to a huge “WTF SARAH?!” moment. Proceed down the rabbit hole and spiral of self-doubt and loathing…

So I share how I snapped myself out of this and the lessons I learned from this experience to give you the Momtra: stop beating yourself up over beating yourself up.

Stop “shoulding” on yourself! And remember that if there’s a lesson you’re keen on learning or an intention you’re putting focus on...you are GUARANTEED to get opportunities to practice it! The lessons will loop around and find us where we’re at and serve us based on what we need and what we’re summoning up.

Give yourself some grace this week. Love the lessons. Love the process. Love yourself.



121. 016: Why My Marriage is Priority Over My Child
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What comes first: your child(ren) or your marriage?

This can be a loaded question. And I understand that there might be different answers for everyone. And even that the order can switch around depending on the season, needs and just what’s best for you and your family to function.

I received an awesome listener email from Sam - asking me to touch on this topic. I’ve mentioned in other avenues and in my podcast that I share with my husband called “Doing It At Home” (our show all about home birth) - that for me (for us)...it works to put marriage above Maya, our daughter.

So in this episode I answer Sam’s request - why and how I make husband a priority, especially in this season of parenthood.

I explain my reasons for putting my marriage first (there’s a trick here though...there’s actually even something before marriage!). I also give some practical tips and resources for “watering your relationship.” And even if you don’t agree with putting marriage ahead of children (which I have no problem with! No judgement here...again whatever works), these are still things that you can incorporate into your partnership to strengthen and fuel it so that you can both be powerful supports for each other and tend to your children’s needs.

What are some of your tips for tending to your relationship and giving it healthy attention and care? I would love to hear them! Email me at balanceandmotherhoodpodcast@gmail.com or DM me on Instagram @sarahmbivens



122. 015: Be Selfish and Don’t Apologize for It
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How do you feel about being selfish?

In today's episode I'm stripping away the judgements around being selfish, and giving you permission to treat yourself like the queen you are.



123. 014: How My Yoni Egg Improves Sex and Creativity
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What is a yoni egg and what do you use it for?!

Recently I made a post in my Instagram stories about using my yoni egg, and got a lot of really great questions and comments about it.

So I figured - why not make an episode on it and share it with all of you?!

I dive into what a yoni egg is, some brief history on the usage of them, why women use them and the benefits to using one - both physical and metaphysical. Physically, the yoni egg is said to help strengthen the vaginal walls and pelvic muscles - think when you do kegel exercises. This of course is linked to enhanced sexual pleasure. Metaphysically, the yoni egg is associated with energy clearing and healing.

I was all excited to try out my egg for the first time a few years ago - only to have a total freak out when I realized I did something wrong! I share my mistake with you because it’s funny, but it also has some lessons in it.

And how do I feel about using my egg after having a baby?! Well, let’s say after using it last week (and two amazing love-making sessions later), I’m very happy to be reconnected with it.

So if you’ve wondered about a yoni egg, never heard of one, or have one and use it frequently...there’s something for you in this episode.

To check out where I got my egg or learn more about yoni eggs in general, you can go to www.yonieggs.com.



124. 013: You Get to Choose What Defines You
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What happens when pretty much everything you thought you knew about yourself and what you owe your success and sense of identity to is taken away?

I’m putting on my lifestyle coaching hat for today’s Monday Momtra and pulling an example from a client call I had about a year ago. For some reason it popped back into my awareness and I feel the topic and lesson is very real, relatable and valuable.

I was talking to a client, let’s call her Anna. Anna was sharing a wound of hers that continued to present challenges in terms of her confidence and self-love. It had to do with an organization that she was a part of for a number of years, that she felt contributed greatly to who she is now as a person. When some things went sour and she left the organization, she felt that she was nothing without it. She saw her value as a person wrapped up in her membership to this organization.

Many of us can relate to versions of this. Sometimes when a phase or season of life changes, our foundations can get rocked a little. A relationship, job, role or responsibility, geographical location -- when these things evolve, it can be tough to evolve along with the rest of the world.

So what do we tell ourselves or remind ourselves when things move on? Ehhem...espeically in motherhood! Where our responsibilities are constantly changing. And then what happens when we’re not needed the way we used to be? I’ve got some ideas on how to cope with these changes, and an idea to hold onto that can boost you up for a rocking week ahead!



125. 012: Lessons From A Mom On The Brink Of An Emotional Breakdown
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Description:

Can you experience balance and breakdown simultaneously?

Welcome to an intimate and vulnerable part of my world - a hard day in mothering. I currently have a 16-month-old with a nasty cough, erratic sleep schedule, insatiable desire to breastfeed and limitless lung capacity for scream crying.

I get real here. I share some of the circumstances that have been going on and how they’ve been impacting me. I even cry while recording the episode. Because that’s what’s going on and that’s where I’m at. I have zero qualms about sharing this reality - because it’s all a part of the experience.

And I firmly believe there are lessons to be learned in breakdown. That there’s a path to breakthrough. And that you can acknowledge what’s happening, how it makes you feel, while still having the internal knowingness of who you are. The emotional landmines, tiny insidious thoughts lurking beneath the surface and waiting to explode to destroy all the hard work you’ve done to build yourself up through love and confidence, do not have to define and rule the entire thing. They also don’t take away from the awesome woman and mother that you are.

So if you’re having a rough day or can relate to one, I think you’ll appreciate this. I also take it a step beyond just the venting and releasing, I discover the clear takeaways for myself from this experience and share them with you to try for yourself. To have balance in breakdown.

And if you have any tips or things you’ve done to maintain your sense of balance when the sh** hits the fan, I want to hear them! Reach out to balanceandmotherhoodpodcast[at]gmail.com.



126. 011: Being Grateful for What You Once Wanted and Now Have
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What is something that you have in your life now that you once deeply desired?

Today’s Monday Momtra was inspired by a few messages and signs from the Universe - where I was seeing this concept of cultivating gratitude for things you now have that you once did not. It was popping up in a few different places - social media posts, conversations and reflections in the space between an old and new year. So I felt compelled to share it with all of you.

Gratitude is an essential for successful and fulfilled living. And it ties in very appropriately with the mission of Balance and Motherhood. This particular practice we’re talking about today is one avenue to explore gratitude in your life.

So I share some of my examples of acknowledging things that I now have and experience in my life, that I once wanted. And I invite you to do the same for yourself - take a quick inventory and recognize the journey - the time, energy, sacrifice, pain, joy, etc. that has led to the co-creation of something that now brings a lot of value to your life.

Look at the ratio of “wanting what you have” vs “having what you want” and how you can use that balance to experience peace and contentment, while looking towards future desires and manifestations.

And in the next few weeks, I’m going to be addressing listener comments and emails - so if you want to be included in my lineup, reach out to balanceandmotherhoodpodcast@gmail.com and you might be featured in an upcoming episode!



127. 010: How to Pick a Word for the New Year and Set Powerful Intentions
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Anyone else feeling less interested in formal new year’s resolutions? Not to knock the practice, I think it’s great. I think it’s also lost some of its effectiveness when we so often hear about formal resolutions and goals getting dropped come the start of February.

What happens here is we put something out there that we want or would like to experience, but our habits - our mindset, conversation and actions, don’t shift to align with whatever that resolution is. So it loses its juice, we get bored and we move on.

But what if there was a way to set powerful intention without the pressure and anxiety that sometimes sets in with resolutions? Instead of “do this less” and “do this more” -- there was a practice of BEING something. A word. One word to set the intention for the year ahead and guide you in your mission, purpose and passion.

Choosing a word for the year is a practice I picked up 2 years ago, and I’ve loved it. It’s been an opportunity to focus on something and allow it to permeate my thought process, my patterns and habits. And it has influenced every aspect of my life. So in this episode I’m walking you through my choice of words the past couple of years, how it played out and then what I’m cooking up for this upcoming year.

And the cool thing about this stuff is that you don’t need to wait for a new calendar year to do it. This concept works year-round and you can pick it up whenever you’d like. Being intentional and proactive is not limited to January 1st.

So listen in to learn my words. And share yours with me! I’d love to hear it. Reach out to balanceandmotherhoodpodcast[at]gmail.com. And be sure to go to www.sarahbivens.com to see the latest on what I’m up to and to download the resources I mention in the episode.



128. 009: Acknowledge What You're Not, To Realize Who You Are
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Why do we feel this pressure to be things that we are not?

Today’s momtra is here to set you up with a powerful intention for the week. Take the opportunity to identify that things that you are not. And I’ll give you some help. You are not your past. You are not your mother. You are not what others think you should be. Ok, now that we’ve taken that brief moment to be in the “not,” let’s focus on the affirmative.

Using “I am…” is an insanely potent energy field creator. What we say is...is. We create our understanding of ourselves, the people around us and our reality. So let’s go into this week with clarity around who we are. Even if you don’t feel 100 percent confident in it right now...it’s the practice of putting yourself in that space. Star athletes train. Accomplished musicians practice. The same logic can apply to affirming yourself and being in a “positive” mindset. You work at it.

And feel free to come back to this momtra whenever you need a reminder of what you are and the extent of your possibilities. I’ll give you a hint: both are limitless!



129. 008: Stop Being a Mama Martyr and Ask for Help: 5 Things You Need to Do
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Why is it so damn hard to ask for (and then actually receive) help as mamas?!

Whether it’s pride, ego, perfectionism, fear...whatever the reason. There are things that hold us back at times (lots of times) from opening ourselves up to utilizing people and resources around us. Maybe we think we have to do it all and be superwoman to prove something to someone or ourselves. Maybe we don’t think anyone can or wants to help.

Part of my mission in this balanced motherhood movement is to drop the self-imposed martyrdom that many of us have a tendency to wear on. How can we do that? Well, it takes practice, like so many things that I talk about on the show. But you can take these tips and examples I outline here and make them your own.

So listen in to learn the 5 things you can do to practice the art of asking for help. Also some of my own real-life examples of asking for and receiving help and how I handle it.

Do you have some examples of breakthroughs you’ve had around asking for help?! I want to hear them! Drop me a line at balanceandmotherhoodpodcast[at]gmail.com!



130. 007: A Reminder Of How Awesome You Are!
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Looking for some extra inspiration, motivation, affirmation (and any other necessary “-ion”) for the week ahead? Well fear not, my mama friend! Because I’m starting a new kind of episode for the show - a weekly mantra...or in this case “momtra” to get you fired up about your week, yourself and your life!

So every Monday I’ll be bringing you a thought, quote, excerpt, experience or whatever else comes to me that I know will be a power boost to your day. They’ll be bite-sized snacks of goodness - to nourish your mind and soul!

This week’s Monday Momtra centers around one of my favorite Rumi quotes and the intense impact it’s had on me. So just open yourself up to the amazing wisdom that is his word and allow it to inspire something for you this week. Maybe it’s speaking your mind and honoring your voice. Maybe it’s a shift in habits. Maybe a relationship becomes healthier and more loving. The possibilities abound. You get to choose how to apply the “momtra” to your life and create some magic with it!

If you have any bits of inspiration that you’d like to share for a future “momtra” please don’t hesitate to email me at balanceandmotherhoodpodcast[at]gmail.com!



131. 006: The Truth About Our Relationship: What Happens When the Mic is Off (DIAH Podcast Rebroadcast)
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This episode originally aired on the podcast that I co-host with my husband “Doing It At Home.” I felt that the topic and conversation was extremely relevant to what I’m creating here at Balance and Motherhood. We dive into aspects of our marriage and relationship the day after we had a sizeable argument. Balance in your relationships is important. This includes honest communication, owning responsibility and loving yourself in the process. I hope you enjoy!

This is a fun and different kind of episode for DIAH. We’re taking a slight curve off of the path of birth stories and empowering birth conversations to focus on us for a second. And by us, I more specifically mean our marriage - our relationship style and our communication (or sometimes lack thereof).

This was inspired by some pretty amazing affirmations we received in the form of emails and reviews, commenting on Matthew’s and my dynamic and interaction with each other. It’s incredibly humbling to receive all of your words of encouragement, support, questions, etc. about the show and our lives. Because we have made a choice to put ourselves out there - our personal lives and sharing intimate aspects of our pregnancy, birth, parenting and marriage experiences. So - when an argument, fight, disagreement or whatever you want to call it like we had the other day pops up and I’m not in the best space, I can go down the dangerous road of “We’re fakes, we’re frauds...we just received all this beautiful feedback on who we are as a couple and now look at us! What does this mean?!?!”

So we discuss this process, why it comes up and what the actually truth of the situation is - that we do have an incredible relationship and marriage, AND it takes a lot of intentional work and practice. We each share some of our challenges and how we overcome them.

We also tackle the topic of “It feels like we never fought before we had a baby…”

This is some pretty interesting stuff, and we really hope you enjoy it - to provide some perspective on what happens after you “do it at home” - how to keep love and communication flowing.



132. 005: Telling My Story: From Depression, Broken Relationships and Un-health to Responsibility, Power and Love
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In this episode, I’m getting personal. I’m opening up the door of vulnerability and inviting you in to hear some of my journey. I figured, hey, we’re in this thing together and if I’m going to be doing this show week after week and talking about this whole thing of balance and motherhood - it would make sense to share part of my story and where I’ve come from to where I am now.

Now it’s obviously not my whole life’s story (I wouldn’t bore you with that), but I do touch on some of the high points and what I believe to be stepping stones on my path to self re-discovery, wellness and love. I share it for multiple reasons. It’s important to me to create a sense of trust and authenticity with you, my listener. I also want to encourage others to acknowledge and identify with their stories and the power in sharing them to spark personal growth, change and healing. And I think there are some very relatable parts to my story that you can glean some insight from - whether you’ve experienced something similar, know or love someone who has, or you can just walk away a little bit more understanding.

I share when some of my disempowering beliefs and programming starting building their foundation - when I was 9 when my parents got divorced. I also retrace the steps that led me to being a very depressed and borderline suicidal teenager. Therapy, antidepressants, seeking love and approval in all the inaccurate places (outside of myself), I felt lost and like a shell of a human.

There was something guiding me, what I can now recognize as my intuition, to keep pushing for possibility and for greatness. Sometimes I listened, sometimes I didn’t. Both choices yielded certain outcomes and consequences.

I’ve learned (and continue to learn) a lot about myself through relationships and intimate connection. So of course I give you some details of relationships gone wrong. Also how stress and my mindset landed me in the hospital for life-saving surgery.

How did it turn around? How did I eventually find myself healing and looking for ways to help others do the same? Well, you have to listen to the story!



133. 004: A Practical and Insanely Effective Approach to Finding BALANCE for Mamas
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In this episode I am sharing my routine, my practice and my structure for BALANCE in my life. I’ve been using this approach for over 5 years now and it has supported me through so many life events: shifting careers, getting married, starting and growing multiple businesses, having a baby, and maintaining my health and sanity (some of it at least!) throughout the process.

And I’m sharing it because I want every mama out there to be able to experience what I have been able to. Because when we’re all feeling more balanced, more together, more integrated, more loved and supported...everybody wins! Our spouses, children, friends, family, co-workers, community.

Also - this sh** works! I’m telling you. Because it can be adjusted and modified to suit you where you are at at any particular space and point in time in your life.

So we go through the 7 building blocks of BALANCE - a concept from the YourDay Balance Game that I’ve taken and applied to not only my own personal life but in my coaching and in all the creative projects I’m involved with. I’m giving you context on why these building blocks are important and how you can take clear, specific and intentional action in each of them. And as a result, you are making a direct deposit into your own health, well-being and happiness.

It’s about creating and building habits that support you. And then I’m giving you the tools, resources and information to take what we talk about and put it into practice for yourself immediately.

Show Notes:

You can create your own balance chart like I mention in the episode now at www.theydbg.com And visit www.sarahbivens.com for more balance and motherhood awesomeness. You can also reach out to balanceandmotherhoodpodcast@gmail.com for questions or comments related to the podcast.

134. 003: What Disney’s Moana Taught Me About Being a Divine Feminine Goddess
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Okay, so most of us are probably familiar with the popular Disney film “Moana” right? If not, I must know how you have not seen this yet - just from a purely fascinated, curious...and frankly, impressed standpoint. It seems to be pretty unavoidable. Which is great, I’ll say, because it’s an awesome movie and we’re big fans at our house.

If you haven’t seen it, I did my best to highlight the main parts you need to know to get the point I’m making in this episode, so it’s not necessary. But be warned that if you have somehow not seen the movie and plan on doing so and would be devastated to hear any major plot-revealing information, best to save this episode for after you watch it. I would hate to spoil a Disney movie for someone haha.

So anyway, we’re talking about the storyline of Te Fiti and Te Ka and what can happen when you’re me and you look way deep into the symbolism and meaning and come out with a “woahhhhh that was awesome,” type of realization.

I see the Te Fiti and Te Ka characters in all of us. And how that manifests and can have ripple effects in our lives. The bottom line of this episode is that you are a goddess and we all need reminders to get back in touch with who we truly are, and to love who that is. So we explore that and talk about some specific things you can do to get in touch with yourself. Use that powerful mama goddess energy for greatness and healing! And go watch “Moana” and get the songs stuck in your head for the hundredth time.

Go to www.sarahbivens.com to learn more about me or reach out to balanceandmotherhoodpocast@gmail.com with questions or feedback for the podcast.



135. 002: 5 Areas that Every Mother Needs to Tend to in Self-Care
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Today we’re doing some car talk (not really...at all actually, cars are not my thing. I drive them, but that’s about it). But we are chatting about a vehicle - your body vehicle. Your amazing, beautiful, hard-working mamamobile. And how to take care of it.

I’m sharing the 5 wheels of the body vehicle - spiritual, mental, emotional, physical and social, and giving you an overview of what they are and why they are important to tend to.

Feeling flat or like some of your wheels need some extra help? I’ve got tips for you on how you can give some love and attention to those specific areas. Because guess what? Just like a car, if one of your wheels is imbalanced, the drive (aka your experience of life) is going to impacted. It might get bumpy. Heck, it might even swerve off the road for a minute there. But it doesn’t have to.

So let’s give you a tune-up! Roll on into The Balance and Motherhood Podcast body shop and do some work (sorry for any incorrect car references or analogies in this episode -- like I said, they’re not my thing).

Go to sarahbivens.com for more or email me at balanceandmotherhoodpodcast@gmail.com with any questions or comments on the podcast.



136. 001: Welcome to The Balance and Motherhood Podcast
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It’s the first freaking episode of The Balance and Motherhood Podcast and I can hardly contain my excitement! First of all, thanks for being here. Thanks for being you.

My name is Sarah Bivens and I am the host of the podcast. I’m a balanced lifestyle coach, mamapreneur, podcaster, wife, and now your guide on this journey of balance and motherhood - two things and experiences that don’t always coincide for a lot of us. We buy into the belief that balance is this unicorn of a creature that we cannot find, tame or hold onto. This show is about finding your own unique sense and practice of balance, in the midst of the magical and crazy role of mama.

I’m bringing my years of experience as a coach and trainer, paired with my own past challenges with self-worth, self-love and self-care, broken relationships, scarcity mentality, self-sabotage, depression and anxiety….yeah. But after breakdown comes breakthrough, and I’m here to share that perspective. How to balance it all, do it all, have it all, be it all...in a sustainable, healthy, loving way that works for you.

So this episode is my official welcome and thank you to you. I also share some of the intentions and plans for the show. This show is for every mom out there looking for ways to manage stress more effectively, tips on creating time and energy for self-care, tools for communication and relationship-building and strengthening, habits for health and longevity, and more!

Some of the things we’ll cover in the show are:

Challenges we face in motherhood like guilt, shame, comparison, competition, self-doubt The magical moments and the wins to acknowledge, both big and small Sex, intimacy, relationships Getting in touch with your personal mission, purpose, values and desires Healing past thoughts, programming and experiences

This is my gift to you and women everywhere - a compassionate kick in the butt to love yourself first, to take care of your needs and be authentically and unapologetically YOU!

Go to sarahbivens.com to learn more about me and my coaching or email me at balanceandmotherhoodpodcast@gmail.com with any questions or comments regarding the podcast.