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Podcast title	Short Cummings Audio presents Happily Domesticated
Website URL	http://www.shortcummingsaudio....
Description	Life -- In Funny, Six-Minute Slices
Updated	Sat, 20 Mar 2010 07:15:55 +0000
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Category	Kids & Family Comedy Society & Culture
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1. #197 — Who Will Buy? http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 5.36Mb) Description: The economy hasn’t been feeling too well lately. If it was a horse we’d be talking about sending it to the glue factory. If it was a car, we’d be looking to trade it in. If it was a character in a soap opera, it’d be that guy who is laying unconscious in a hospital bed [...]
2. #196 — Special Deliveries http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 6.49Mb) Description: A colleague returned to work after her twelve-week maternity leave full of stories about childbirth and infant care. To hear her talk, she and her husband are the first human beings in the entire history of the world to have had a child. This is completely ridiculous since my wife and I were the first [...]
3. #195 — WP Hero? http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.18Mb) Description: Twenty-five years ago I couldn’t get enough of video games. It was a hopeless, one-way affair. I gave my time and devotion and cash to the game industry and they returned questionable entertainment like Raiders of the Lost Ark on the original Atari console. This was a game which compensated for its pixelated graphics with tedious game [...]
4. #194 — Anagram of Pest http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 6.62Mb) Description: Pets is an anagram of pest. This revelation burst in upon me like the light of infinity while I was counting out three-hundred dollars in twenties for the nice lady behind the reception desk in the veterinarian’s office. Three-hundred bucks would make a nice pot in a poker game. It would also pay [...]
5. #193 — USA Number 2 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.20Mb) Description: [Editor's Note: This week, instead of the usual humor, I wanted to share my experience as a spectator at the 2002 Winter Olympic Games. I hope you enjoy this little change of pace and rest assured that next week I'll be back with my usual smart-alec comments.] Watching a bobsled race isn’t like watching a football [...]
6. #192 — A Break from Cool http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.33Mb) Description: It was mid-December when my wife and I noticed that things were going missing around the house. Milk, olives, and even toilet paper had vanished. We weren’t without clues about the identity of the thief. A pair of size ten riot boots, a mountain of laundry that resembled a quarter-scale model of K2, and the [...]
7. #191 — The Tools Make the Man http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 6.69Mb) Description: In late 2009 the scientific community went gaga over the discovery of a tool-using octopus. Well, actually there was more than one tool-using octopus, but since no one in the scientific community could remember whether the plural of octopus is octopi, octopusses or octo-pods, they decided to just report on one of them. The slimy critter [...]
8. #190 — Accounting For My Time http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.41Mb) Description: If they made a movie about my professional life, it would be called Kevin Cummings and the ‘To-Do’ List of Doom. Each workday I start with a nice clean sheet of note paper which I sully with an ugly list of tasks I have to accomplish. This would be tolerable if I could just finish each [...]
9. #189 — What’s Bugging You? http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.48Mb) Description: In late 2009 Consumer Reports evidently ran out of new products to test. What other explanation could account for their decision to conduct a phone survey to find out what annoys people the most? The answer to that question is obvious. Phone surveys….except that wasn’t one of the things they asked about. The researchers called people and asked [...]
10. #188 — It’s A Date http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.64Mb) Description: When my wife and I went out to breakfast, the waitress asked if we were on our honeymoon. This was a reasonable question as we were eating breakfast in Niagara Falls, Canada which which attracts honeymooners the way a bus accident attracts personal injury lawyers. Pretty much everybody you meet in Niagara Falls — including [...]
11. #187 — Confidence Man http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.14Mb) Description: Really. It was my fault. If I didn’t want to answer highly technical questions from random strangers, I shouldn’t have worn my red fleece vest to the home improvement center. The disaster that happened the day I wore a white shirt and black tie to the Buy More electronics emporium should have been a [...]
12. #186 — Job Description http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.56Mb) Description: Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast If you have a job, you probably have a job description. This allows your manager to keep you centered on the tasks which are vital to maintaining a mission-centric focus for your forward-looking organization. It is also useful when your manager wants to evaluate you, discipline you, or assign you a completely random [...]
13. #185 — Childhood Games http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.07Mb) Description: Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast I remember running across the schoolyard; carefree and laughing as I engaged in the ritualized combat of games like “Tag,” “Capture the Flag,” and “Avoid the Bullies.” Well, actually, they weren’t that carefree. In fact, I remember spending a lot of time being out and even more time trying to wipe grass stains [...]
14. #184 — The Reviews Are In! http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.28Mb) Description: Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast The main problem with film reviews — as far as I’m concerned — is that they tend to be abused by people trying to promote the films. Filmmakers and film reviewers are locked in an unhealthy symbiotic relationship like sharks and remoras, lichens and trees, and American Idol judges and contestants. It’s a [...]
15. #183 — A Toast in Remembrance http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.63Mb) Description: Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast I’ve been thinking a lot about loss lately. Maybe it’s because fall is turning to winter; maybe it’s because I’m getting older; but most likely it’s because my favorite toaster just shuffled off it’s electric coil. Really. You have to understand that this was no ordinary toaster. This was an extra-ordinary toaster, a [...]
16. #182 — It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 9.22Mb) Description: Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast I love this time of year, when Christmas tiptoes stealthily into the stores. You know how it is. At first it’s just a candy cane or two and then an ornament or maybe a small string of lights. It’s so subtle it would be easy to miss. Not really. Christmas lands on retail stores some [...]
17. #181 — Falling into Winter http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 9.08Mb) Description: Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast I live in northern Utah which meteorologists describe as having an arid to semi-arid climate. Unlike some parts of the county where the weather never changes — I’m looking at you Southern California — we have definite seasons. If you start keeping track in July, the seasons are hot, hotter, hottest, too hot, [...]
18. #180 — -tioning Home Improvement http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.73Mb) Description: Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast With our sons grown and out of the house, my wife and I have completed our legally-mandated term of active service as parents. We find ourselves sliding giddily into the category of empty-nesters. We have the freedom to do what we want, when we want. Travel planning no longer requires us to consider [...]
19. #179 — Where the Wild Things Work http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 9.91Mb) Description: Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast Who doesn’t love a trip to the zoo? Well, probably the animals for whom it is a one-way trip, but that’s not really the point. The point is that you get to spend a happy, lazy day eating junk food and wandering past neat rows of tiny cages containing permanently trapped animals. As you [...]
20. #178 — Not Right in the Head http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.88Mb) Description: Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast After an extensive examination, the doctor concluded that my wife wasn’t right in the head. Aside: my wife is glaring at me with a look that could blister the paint on a battleship. In the interest of avoiding incineration, let me provide a some context. The doctor in question is my wife’s oh-toe-lair-in …. auto-lauren [...]
21. #177 — Things That Go “POOF!” http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 6.94Mb) Description: In this age of heightened security, I’ve heard that the authorities might be monitoring the telephone conversations of ordinary citizens like me. If they are listening in on my cell calls to my wife, I have two words for them. Good. Luck. Really. Our conversations are non-linear in the same way that tires are non-square, fish are [...]
22. #176 — Feeling My Age http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.30Mb) Description: My lawnmower is gone. He moved away to college. With his departure, my wife and I took off the business casual clothing of active parents and slid into the comfortable shorts and Hawaiian shirts of empty-nesters. And you know what? It’s weird. Really. In the evenings, we no longer have to make sure that everyone has finished [...]
23. #175 — Editorially Speaking http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.80Mb) Description: American daily newspapers are dying in record numbers. Where once these magnificent beasts roamed the plains in great herds, now they have been hunted nearly to extinction by the railroads. Oh. Wait. That’s the buffalo. Nonetheless, newspapers really are dying. If your local daily was a guest character on a medical drama, the hunky doctor would [...]
24. #174 — It’s Down to the Wire! http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.14Mb) Description: The history of modern professional sports is a real Cinderella story; a genuine David-and-Goliath fight between the teams on the one hand and an apathetic public on the other foot. Every team out there gives one-hundred-and-ten-percent every time the sun shines just to prove that they’re the team to beat … and watch. And nothing [...]
25. #173 — Legally Speaking http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.02Mb) Description: The Great American Pastime is, of course, taking people to court. No, I’m kidding. The Great American Pastime is baseball; an event in which small teams of highly skilled and carefully trained individuals convene in a specially-designated location to compete by following a complicated set of rules under the watchful eyes of a team of impartial [...]
26. #172 — Higher Education http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.31Mb) Description: After we finished installing our youngest son in his Freshman dorm room, he pushed us out so fast he nearly strained us through the keyhole. He hustled us off the way your immune system rejects a disease, the way a sovereign nation rejects an invading army, the way Jennifer rejected Brad when she found [...]
27. New Book Available! http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (, 0.00Mb) Description: Now Available! After 24 years of marriage, a man learns a thing or two about surviving as a homeowner, husband, and father — mostly he learns to laugh at adversity. In this collection of essays, humorist Kevin Cummings takes on all aspects of modern domesticity. “Happily Domesticated” is a collection of 54 of the best essays from the [...]
28. #171 — Can’t Cook, Won’t Cook http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.48Mb) Description: When my dinner arrived at the table it looked less like food and more like evidence in an arson investigation. “I can’t eat this,” I said. “The pork chop is completely burned.” “Not all of it,” my wife said. “Just cut away the burned part and eat what’s left.” “What’s left is the bone.” “Then eat the green beans.” “Burned.” “The [...]
29. #170 — I’m No Expert http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 6.66Mb) Description: Experts are the bodybuilders of the intellectual world; except its harder to spot them in a crowded room. Body-builders stand out because they are tanned and fit in the exact same way that Mount Everest is not small. Their distressingly unnatural proportions make it tough for them to fit into regular clothes. This is why bodybuilding [...]
30. #169 — Like a Leaf on the Wind http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.67Mb) Description: I’m a big fan of sky-diving…so long as it is undertaken for the express purpose of escaping from a paralyzed airplane which is hurtling ground-ward. On the other hand, leaving a perfectly functional aircraft mid-flight would be disrespectful to the hardworking engineers, technicians and flight crew who are dedicated to providing a safe, comfortable trip. Despite [...]
31. #168 — Dubious Improvements http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.99Mb) Description: Later this year Microsoft will release Windows version seven. After nearly a decade-and-a-half in development, this new software package promises to give you the same smooth, hassle-free experience as Windows 95. As with the release of any new operating system, the arrival of Windows seven is exciting the geek community the way the arrival of [...]
32. #167 — Now Hiring http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 6.16Mb) Description: Job interviews are the business-world’s equivalent of speed dating. Based on a brief conversation, hiring managers are supposed to select the candidate with whom they expect to have a long-term relationship of forty or fifty … months. The employer is expected to make a binding commitment to this person until death, promotion, mandatory staff reductions [...]
33. #166 — Meeting of the Bored http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 6.84Mb) Description: Things sure have come a long way since the Dark Ages. A few centuries ago we’d all have been living in a kingdom where any autocrat could summon all of the peasants into the castle for a meeting at a whim. At the same time, if two of the local knights had a disagreement — [...]
34. #165 — Technologically Dependent http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.66Mb) Description: I am utterly reliant on odd assortment of inventions, devices, gadgets and gizmos; so long as the technology holds out, I’ll be fine. In my imagination, I am a survivor-type whose courage is a match for any calamity. In truth, I’m a technologically-coddled coward who whimpers when the DVR misses the latest episode [...]
35. #164 — I Wish That Life Was Like The Movies http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.59Mb) Description: Let me share with you my secret shame; I like action movies. I enjoy spending a couple of hours with a big, goofy, enthusiastic film that substitutes explosions for plot and has a soundtrack loud enough to induce brain damage in inanimate objects. My years of sitting in darkened theaters have taught me [...]
36. #163 — Mile Marker Forty-Five http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.92Mb) Description: I’ve seen a disturbing number of significant family birthdays and anniversaries this year. My youngest son turned eighteen, my oldest son turned twenty-one, and I turned old. My wife, annoyingly, has remained as youthful and beautiful as ever. She claims this to be the result of clean living, a good attitude and [...]
37. #162 — Bridegroom Boot Camp http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.53Mb) Description: Listen up, maggots. You’re here because you’re going to get married soon and it’s my job to see that you do it right. There are plenty of things out there that can endanger a marriage; apathy, infidelity, the inability of the male to share the remote control. I only have a few weeks to teach [...]
38. #161 — Missed Diagnoses http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.16Mb) Description: During the recent influenza outbreak, news broadcasters switched into hilarious panic mode. Night after night they talked excitedly in the manner of newscasters in classic Japanese monster movies. “Swine flu has been sighted outside your town and is headed your way! It will destroy you and your family! You must evacuate at once!” From the sound of [...]
39. #160 — Space Invaders http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.06Mb) Description: Right after our honeymoon, my wife moved into my apartment. In theory I was in favor of living under the same roof with my new bride; in practice dividing up the living space required extensive negotiations that continue to this day. Part of the problem was the apartment itself. In terms of roominess, it compared well [...]
40. #159 — Routine Housework http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.30Mb) Description: As a bachelor, I subscribed to the belief that cleaning house was like going to war; it was to be conducted with forethought and seriousness of purpose, and only when no other alternative could be found. Cleaning with any kind of regularity would have interfered with vital activities like re-watching old movies on VHS, arguing [...]
41. #158 — Twenty (Thousand) Questions http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.81Mb) Description: Having children is like signing up for an eighteen-year stint on a quiz show. Day in and day out you’ll be peppered with rapid-fire questions the way shooting gallery ducks are pelted with BBs. Even before your children can speak, you know that they’re storing up questions so that their first complete sentence will be [...]
42. #157 — Please Follow All Instructions Carefully http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.17Mb) Description: This past weekend my wife and I decided to replace our counter-top microwave with an over-the-stove model. We had three good reasons; 1) the old microwave no longer worked, 2) we wanted to reclaim our counter space, and 3) we were idiots. When we bought the microwave at the local Buy More, the polo-shirted sales [...]
43. #156 — Puttering Along http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.88Mb) Description: I am not good at doing nothing. Sitting idle isn’t for me. I’m not happy unless I’m doing something. Hearing that, you might think that I’m a paragon of productivity; a man on the move; someone who gets things done. You would be wrong. I’m a putterer. While some men invest their energy in creating [...]
44. #155 — A Better Mousetrap http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.57Mb) Description: The United States is a nation of inventors. Leave us alone with some tools for ten minutes and we’ll start inventing right then and there. We’ll invent so hard that we might sprain something in the process. But that’s a risk we’ll have to take because we’re deeply, deeply committed to inventing a better mousetrap. [...]
45. #154 — Domestic Policy http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.40Mb) Description: You have to pity the modern American business leaders. Right in the middle of the economic equivalent of the Great San Francisco Earthquake of 1906 they have to spend all day, every day focusing on their core competencies to design customer-centric win-win solutions while going forward to grab the low-hanging fruit by producing a value-added, [...]
46. #153 — Small Talk http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.96Mb) Description: As a general rule, I avoid any situation where I might have to engage in extended small talk with complete strangers. This includes parties, mixers, networking events and my annual physical. It’s not that I don’t like people, it’s just that I’m as well-equipped for small talk as an M1 Abrams tank is for sailing. For [...]
47. #152 — Married To Your Job http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.02Mb) Description: I’m ashamed to admit it, but in college I played the field — a lot — with many different majors. At first I was young and idealistic and thought my future lay in Computer Engineering. That dream soured when I discovered that Computer Engineers had to understand complicated mathematics like trigonometry, calculus, and [...]
48. An Interview http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (, 0.00Mb) Description: Susie of the How To Grow Your Geek podcast interviewed me last week and the interview is already in her feed. I’ll be mentioning this on the show, but since I record a couple of weeks in advance, I wanted to point you Susie’s way while the interview is still fresh. You can find it [...]
49. #151 — Short Answers http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.91Mb) Description: My son isn’t speaking to me anymore. Instead he texts, tweets and updates his Facebook profile. From what I can infer, he’s doing fine. I have trouble understanding his messages because I’m not fluent in “text”. Unlike him, I’m not a native speaker. He makes fun of my text messages and says that I’m old-fashioned and [...]
50. #150 — Breaking Up Is Hard To Do http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.35Mb) Description: One of the most traumatic episodes of my adolescence was my break-up with Carrie. For a brief time, she was the center of my world and I thought only of her. It didn’t last. I should have known it would never work; she was older, more attractive and completely unaware of my existence. We inhabited [...]
51. #149 — Glandular Problems http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 6.97Mb) Description: According to Mr. Tovey, my high school biology teacher, the human body is controlled by a complex set of interconnected organs called glands. For example, you have the adrenal glands; small, timid, and easily frightened organs that panic at the first sign of trouble. Imagine that you’re sitting quietly, letting your mind wander and maybe [...]
52. #148 — A Taxing Situation http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.32Mb) Description: Every April I’m called upon to account for how I spent the previous year; how I spent taking care of my dependents, how I spent paying off my mortgage, and how I spent on a whole laundry list of other tax-deductible items. Fortunately, in the interest of making this as difficult as possible, the United [...]
53. #147 — ACTing Up http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.18Mb) Description: Getting your child into college is no easy matter. Your offspring’s prospective future alma mater wants to know that your kid is up for the challenge; that they’re ready, willing and able to commit. They want proof. They want to see your credit report. Not really. College administrators are certain you’ll pay because without a decent education [...]
54. #146 — Effective Marital Communications http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 6.09Mb) Description: After twenty-three years of marriage, my wife and I have lost the ability to finish our own sentences. Unfortunately, we’ve never gained the power of reliably finishing each other’s sentences. A typical conversation over the dinner table has more gaps than a six-year-old’s smile. My wife starts strong with something like, “Did you remember to stop [...]
55. #145 — Keeping Up Appearances http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.00Mb) Description: An awful lot of folks are angry at the American banking industry and they are expressing their outrage by way of obscene gestures, foul language, and poorly-spelled letters to the editor. The government, sensing the restless mood of the public is responding by giving huge piles of crisp new dollar bills to the banks. [...]
56. #144 — My So-Called Adult Life http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 6.91Mb) Description: Despite the fact that I am a fully-qualified High School graduate with more than two decades of actual post-high school life experience, the vast, shadowy educational conspiracy has never asked me to speak at a graduation. They’re afraid of what I might say and they were right to fear. Given a microphone and [...]
57. #143 — Too Many Clowns http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 7.74Mb) Description: The problem with most jobs is that they involve actual work which is tedious and difficult and dull. That’s why they have to pay you to do your job. Even without understanding the details, small children realize that most adult careers have all of the dynamism and excitement of mandatory nap time. [...]
58. #142 — Malled http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 6.99Mb) Description: Last weekend I went into unfriendly territory on a difficult mission; I went to the mall to get my watch battery replaced. When I was young, the mall and I were practically inseparable. I thought our love would stand the test of time and we’d be together forever. Sometime around my fortieth [...]
59. #141 — Shaking the Money Tree http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.05Mb) Description: I don’t have to tell you that the economy is in bad shape; that’s the job of the talking heads on the TV news. Every half-hour the round-the-clock news drones come on to report that the economy is still in bad shape. If the economy was a broken-down car, the newscasters would be [...]
60. #140 — How to Turn an Argument into a Fight http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 6.71Mb) Description: The difference between an argument and a fight is the difference between a border skirmish and a full-on invasion. An argument is the sort of impassioned discussion you see in the U.S Congress when it comes to hot-button topics like Bioethics, Campaign Finance Reform, and whose turn it is to pick up the check in [...]
61. #139 They’ve Got You Covered http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 8.28Mb) Description: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The twentieth century had more than it’s share of dubious “innovations”; atomic weapons, the wonder bra and (of course) new Coke. The worst of the bunch, though, has to be twenty-four-seven wall-to-wall news coverage. In the early days of television — when most of the sets were still pedal-powered — there were only three networks [...]
62. #138 Feature Rich http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 4.58Mb) Description: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The origins of defense contracting are shrouded in the mists of history — or at least cloaked by the Official Secrets Act. I’ll bet, though, that the original defense contractors were the guys who came up with the Swiss Army knife. Really. The Swiss Army knife inconveniently combines unrelated tools in a package which is simultaneously too [...]
63. #137 The Phases of My Sons http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 5.14Mb) Description: For on-going, ever-changing, cheap home entertainment, nothing beats having children. Well, not cheap exactly. If you’re planning to have a child, you’d best be prepared to pay medical costs, daycare, the cover prices for a vast array of comprehensive parenting manuals which contain mutually-contradictory advice, pre-school testing fees, school enrollment fees, school picture fees, school [...]
64. #136 Mr. Lucky! http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 4.56Mb) Description: I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I blame Mother Nature. She’s decided that she doesn’t want anyone living in my part of the country any more, so she’s taken a page from the Slum Lord play book and is trying to run us all out by making the area uninhabitable. Slum Lords [...]
65. #135 Hazardous Duty http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 4.55Mb) Description: When it comes to selecting a tough and dangerous occupation, there are plenty to choose from; snow plow driver in Alaska, nuclear plant safety inspector, and the salesclerk in charge of convincing size twenty-four women that a size eight dress won’t stretch that much no matter how long they hold their breath. There’s one risky [...]
66. #134 We Didn’t Choose to be Bureaucrats http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 5.45Mb) Description: In terms of sheer tonnage, the United States it the world’s leading producer of weapons-grade bureaucracy. Nothing officially happens in this country until it’s been recorded on a complicated and mysteriously-named form, approved, counter-signed, and carried to its final resting place in a dusty filing cabinet. It’s not our fault, though. After all, the country [...]
67. #133 Small Projects http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 5.37Mb) Description: My wife met me at the door when I came home and said, “Guess what came in the mail today?” After more than two decades of marriage I know better than to give her a straight answer to a question like that. So I said, “I don’t know. My commitment papers?” “No. I keep those in the [...]
68. #132 It Aggravates My Condition http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 4.81Mb) Description: I like to think of myself as an easy-going guy; relaxed, laid-back, and fun to be around. I’d actually be like that if I just didn’t have to deal with other people. Some people have bad joints that flare up in rainy weather. Others have sciatica that troubles them when it’s damp. Me? I have [...]
69. #131 That’s No Excuse http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (audio/mpeg, 5.68Mb) Description: There was a time in this country when having an MBA meant something. It was the symbol of an accomplished business leader, a mark of distinction, a sign that said, “this person was willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars and hours in pursuit of a piece of parchment.” Everybody wanted one and [...]
70. Oops! http://feedproxy.google.com/~r... download (, 0.00Mb) Description: Oops! In preparation for an upcoming move to a new server (and an exciting annoucement…) I changed a setting on my feed. Unfortunately, this made it appear that all of the episodes of Short Cummings Audio had been republished. You may have seen old episodes re-appear in your feed reader or podcatcher. I apologize for the inconvenience. Watch [...]