Podcast Directory

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Episodes

hmm... take a closer look and you may notice one of the "disciples"

suited up, originally uploaded by TuffDadSF .

on thursday, tony's nephew got married in san ramon. after work we packed up the car and headed out through all that traffic caused by that truck accident. both bruno and i got new suits for the occassion. bruno's was kenneth cole and my suit was oscar de la renta. i think the tree of us looked pretty smashing. bruno was an angel during the service and even danced during the reception. a great night with family! more photos to come - probably on Flickr.

See Food!, originally uploaded by TuffDadSF .

Bruno is now walking and keeping us on our toes. he started to walk right on the day of his one year birthday. he is also starting to get a sense of humor, as seen with this photo.

Check out all of the pictures that Jessie took of Bruno and the family on Flickr by clicking on this photo.

Coming Soon - the photos that Joel took of Bruno's birthday and blessing by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

Bruno's pajamas, originally uploaded by TuffDadSF .

Bruno is wearting new pajamas that a friend from Tony's work bought him. Must be nice having perfect strangers buy you stuff!

cruising the castro, originally uploaded by TuffDadSF .

Bruno is suffering from TCO (total cuteness overload). can you stand it? it's his one year birthday in April and he's already a lady killer.

Bruno's Room - Monkeys, originally uploaded by TuffDadSF .

so we spent the weekend holed up at home. all three of us were sick and the weather was extra crappy with special sauce. tony decided that we should try to finish up bruno's room. out with the bed and the old rug and in with... i guess just a new rug. oh yeah, and the stickers. this company called blik makes these large scale stickers to stick on the walls. we thought it's and easy way to make bruno's room a bit more kid friendly. the room still needs a bench with storage, or instead, an easy chair and a table with a lamp for bedtime stories. we also got some robot stickers to put on the other wall. the photos don't really do the room justice, because it now is one of our favorite places to hang out and it's a really warm and big playspace for bruno - who's crawling like a pro now.

swinging, originally uploaded by TuffDadSF .

bruno on the swing at dolores park last week. he's got 4 teeth, two of which you can see in this picture.

wake at 6:30am get to work by 8 work (fo' reals) until 4:30 (my last job gave me so much free time that writing all day long was not a problem. this new job has me busy all the time, which is good because now i am not bored, but bad for blogging) get home at 5 spend time with the two brightest lights in my life until 7 put bruno down to sleep watch some tv, read and be in bed around 9:30- 10pm

i just don't have the energy or time to write much. but, this isn't goodbye just yet. i'm keeping the site up until it's time to renew (june-ish). then i'll make the decision is v-hold will be no more or just be something completely different. i have some ideas but who knows.

in the meantime - you can always check out my flickr site:(http://ww w.flickr.com/photos/torres-bowser/) because i am trying to keep up with posting pictures. i may try to get a video blog up now and then, too.

thanks for hanging out.

i recently got hold of the original scissor sisters album and i got to say, why didn't they just put all the songs from both albums on the american release? the demo is definitely more gay, so that could be part of the reason a lot of the songs got dropped. the tracklist is:

01. intro
02. electrobix
03. comfortably numb
04. someone to touch (how many times)
05. music is the victim
06. backwoods discotheque II
07. step aside for the man
08. filthy & gorgeous
09. monkey baby
10. bicycling with the devil
11. laura
12. doctor (i'm only seeing dark)
13. return to oz

the beginning of electrobix is what they play when they come out on stage when they play live. does anyone know the name of the dolly parton song they play before electrobix?

and look for their cover of Franz Ferdinand's Take Me Out (Live Lounge). it's so awesome.

feast of fools - these boyfriends from chicago talk about the daily news and have lots of guest stars. they are pretty fabulous and seem to know a lot of people. it's like hanging out with your gay friends, dishing the dirt.

fox in the city - ok... this guy is insane. may be hard to take on your first listen, but if you keep with up with it, you'll soon be busting a gut. very irreverent and un-PC. he's the crazy queen you may not always hang out with, but when you do you got a lot of material to digest.

lucky bitch radio - the host of this show is wanda wisdom, a minneapolis drag queen who loves to talk. and talk she does. most podcast last around 30-60 minutes. she's usually running near 90-120 minutes. she's also quite funny. she'd probably be your best friend's mom who like to tell her view of the world after her second 10am cocktail.

the dawn and drew show - not really gay, but definitely gay friendly. this is a young married couple that generally just shoot the shit about their daily lives. they are also quite funny and have tons of stories. they are the cool straight friends who'd go to gay pride with you.

busy with the baby. Christmas was pretty low key for Bruno. he had 3 baby showers at the beginning of the month, so it sort of merged into his Christmas gifting. plus, he's 8 months old and Christmas means eating wrapping paper.

Christmas for tony and i was also a little more reserved. i got tony the red iPod nano and he got me two hours of tattoo work along with some Wii games (elebits and excite truck). still it was great spending the day with the two guys i love the most. we also went to godfather joel's house for dinner and a board game session of cleopatra.

thank god for the internet... Bruno has been getting up in the moorings completely soaked because his diapers can't hold all the pee he makes at night. before resigning myself to changing his sheets everyday if figured to do a search on the net. turns out you can buy these things called "diaper doublers" at safeway. they are essentially a ginormous maxipad you put inside the diaper at night. they have been working great and our baby doesn't need scuba gear to bed.

he's already growing up so fast. we have had him for a month and he already knows how to clap his hands with us, he gets up on his haunches and rocks back and forth like he's going to crawl (yipes) and just looks bigger and longer than when we first got him. he's so awesome too. always happy and laughing and smiling. i'll be putting up some more pictures as i get them... including his picture with santa.

check it out here!

our social worker was really on the ball because during the disclosure meeting it was revealed that the foster parents were mormon. she immediately asked, "is there going to be a problem with them because a gay couple is adopting the child? i don't want the baby nor my clients to go through any drama." the baby's social worker said she'd check into it.

well, hooray for homophobia! it put us on the fast track because the first time we met the baby it was at social services in the nursery. the moment we saw him we knew it. he's our boy. we dropped down on the floor and immediately starting interacting with him. he he bonded with us pretty quickly. actually so quickly the social worker wanted to see if we could bring him home that night, but there was too many legal things to get right. after the visit we planned to see him the following sunday.

we picked up the baby, our baby, at a McDonald's parking lot in Sacramento and brought him over to tony's sister's house and spent the entire day with him. it was so awesome and he really took a hold of our hearts. so much so that when we had to bring him back, tony got really upset. but, the best was yet to come.

we brought our baby home yesterday, for good. our bruno joseph torres-bowser.

breakfast - cereal, a fruit and a bottle of formula
lunch - a vegetable, a fruit and a bottle of formula
dinner - either a breakfast or a lunch, we like to switch it up.
hour before bedtime - a bottle a formula

i am not sure if he was already able to sleep through the night, but it seems like this diet makes sure of it. he's in bed by 9 PM at the latest and up at 8 AM in the morning.

this new diet has also probably been a shock to his system because he didn't poop for almost 3 days. thank goodness they got prune baby food because on the 4th morning, KABOOM! he pooped. 5 times. now he's pretty regular, about two poops a day.

and in other gross baby news - he had the instinct to pee on tony and me in one diaper change. you see, the doctor told us that he needs to air dry after a change because he's got some eczema and dry skin. well, we were trying the rush the dry off by fanning him with a diaper. bad idea. he started to pee and thank god, tony quickly cupped his hands and caught it all. or so he thought. as he ran to the bathroom to wash up, bruno let out another stream in which i had to catch to keep from getting on the walls and the floor.

and another thing. babies really tire you out. even though he sleeps through the night tony and i are exhausted all the time.

and to top it off... McDonald's brought back the McRib. this is awesome.

tony and i got back from the cruise on saturday the 4th of November. prior to the cruise we had said that when the cruise was over that we really needed to get on our social worker and get things happening. i mean, lately the story was we would get information about a kid (or two), tony and i would say let's proceed and then a month would go by with nothing and then finally a phone call, "sorry, the kid's been taken." we usually weren't too bummed out because in the adoption game you know there are going to be a lot of ups and downs. anyway, tony and i promised that we were going to really be squeaky wheels. we hadn't even made a single phone call and our social worker calls us on tuesday Nov. 7th with news of a 6 month old boy, african american mother and that is all the social worker knows at that moment. would we be interested because she said the baby's social worker contacted HER about us. we were a bit puzzled and excited and told our social worker to find out more information, but as of now, yes, we'd like to proceed. on thursday Nov. 9th our social worker calls us and now she has a lot more information, but still no pictures. she says that the baby's social worker wants to move into a disclosure meeting the following tuesday.

now, for those who aren't familiar with adoption terminology, a disclosure meeting is the time where you meet with the social workers and they open up a huge file on the kid and start reading it to you. you pretty much learn as much as is on record about the child. his parents, foster parents, siblings, mental and physical backrgound, birth notes, the whole nine yards. the other thing about a disclosure meeting is that a social worker will not offer one to a family unless they already know that the family is a good match.

knowing this, tony and i were pretty bowled over and said yes. tuesday Nov. 9th we drove over to sacramento and met with the social workers. the disclosure meeting went pretty well then the social worker showed us a picture of the baby. tony and i knew he was the one. he had to be. but near the end i felt we had hit a bump in the road. something came up that they hadn't realized was in our home study. though they said it wasn't a problem, i just felt defeated. after the meeting i tried so hard to keep a positive attitude, but let me tell you, the doubt was coming in strong and i was getting really sad. i mean, after seeing the face of our "maybe baby" i just wanted him so badly.

we were told that we needed a 24 hour cool off period before we could say yes or no to the adoption. we waited and on the 15th we called our social worker and said, "YES!". that day at work was one of the longest days i ever experienced. we waited and waited to hear something and fianlly at 4:00 on a conference call the baby's social worker said, "we want you to have him."

there are times in your life where you think "life cannot get better than this." but man, hearing those words that you are a daddy, that you actually have a son on his way. it's just something so hard to put into words. and the things i was feeling at that time can't even compare to the first time i held him in my arms... but now i'm getting ahead of myself.

ok, i know you're going to hate me, but i got to stop here. i PROMISE i will finish the story. there is so much more to tell. thanks to all of you who emailed congrats and stuff. we really appreciate it.

as you can probably tell, this blog has kinda been an afterthought for me lately. work makes it that i can't really blog during the day and by the time i get home i have enough on my plate that writing is the last thing on my mind. then with the whole adoption thing happening i feel like i have been censoring myself big time because i'm actually scared that my blog is being scrutinized by the people who may be responsible for giving us a yes or no on our adoption plans. plus i am getting pretty sick and tired of the lame comments i get from the people who hate me. people who don't even know me telling me to drop dead and shit like that. and yes, i know that they are big losers but eventually it just get so -ugh- i don't know. i don't think that they fully realize the bad karma they put out there and maybe i'm just getting old but why?

so, what i am getting to is that the blog is going to be like this for a while. i'll pop in from time to time to post what i can but i just want to let all of my dear readers know that i do appreciate you all keeping up with my antics and as soon as the adoption stuff goes through there should be a flood of postings because my blog won't really be about the "old" me anymore. it will be stories about being a dad and where that takes me. so in the meantime, go read some of my links, peruse my archive and maybe check back in a month.

yep. i think we're ready to meet our son tomorrow.

How do you feel about Gay Pride here in SF? This will be my 10th year and I have to admit that the thrill is gone. Though I'll attend the festivities, I will admit that it's done out of a place for something to do this weekend and not because I feel like I need to make a statement. Living in the bubble of San Francisco I got it pretty good. A home, a husband, a good job and a blog. I'm quite comfortable and feel somewhat untouchable by the events you report on at Queerday that happen elsewhere in the US. Recently, I complained on my site about gay pride and Joe from Joe.My.God emailed me because of something I said about the Pride catalog this year. He said, "...The intent of the cover was to reflect the grim status of the movement in light of the recent setbacks..." and "We're always open to suggestions, however" It really stuck in my mind because it's really easy to complain about something but if you really want to make a change you got to take some action. It's been nagging at me in the back of my mind and now I think I may have something that could really take off.

The idea/campaign is called:

"Go Home! for Pride"

It actually came to me as a joke at first. I was walking home from work through the Castro and seeing the prep for this year's Pink Saturday and Gay Pride. I was thinking about all the people who were going to pour in over the weekend and thought, "God, maybe these people should go home to their own Pride parades." But then when I really thought of the application of this idea, I thought it could be something actually quite amazing for the gay community as a whole.

Think of all the LGBT in San Francisco. I would bet most of them (myself included) came from some small town in some other state. Their own state may have their own gay pride events which is probably half of actual residents of that city and the rest are inflow of the surrounding towns. Many smaller towns have their own Pride celebrations/parades that are usually pretty small. Well, what if everyone made the arrangements to go home for their town's (or nearby town's) gay pride? Everyone's hometown would have more people attending, making every event a bigger deal and causing the local newspapers to report on the event. It would show the nation that there actually are gay people in every town in every state. It would give a gay face to the people in the small towns, making them realize that we are everywhere and we are the children, the students, the people who grew up and went to their churches years ago.

I know this may sound kind of ambitious, but were you at the March on Washington back in the early 90's? That was an excellent event in which everyone really pulled together to be sure that they would be there and get their voices heard. I'm thinking that "Go Home! for Pride" could be that type of event - an event that really mobilizes the gay community.

What I would like to do is work with my readers and Queerday along with other gay web outlets and create a home base for the campaign on the web. It would be a site that would explain the idea and allow people to pledge their commitment to it. Then it would be chock full of resources to help everyone get information on when their local event is happening, who to contact in their town and stuff like that. It could even have a bulletin board where each town has a board that people can post to talk directly with those in charge and talking to locals to arrange where to stay.

I guess it could also be something that brings in some revenue through sponsorship and ads, but that really isn't the direction I'd like to go with it. I'd like to keep it non-profit almost like MoveOn.org - powered by real people. Hopefully people would want to donate time to the site's creation and upkeep but I know that sometimes you gotta pay to get things done so the revenue angle is an option.

The timeline I was thinking of was to have the site ready by January 2006 so everyone could start planning for that following summer. I don't think this would be a yearly thing but a one time event. I could try to get other bloggers and big sites (Queerday, gay.com and such) on board advertising it. I'm also going to contact Joe about it being that he was the one who got my gears turning. Maybe his Pride publication can help out too.

I just thought of it a few days ago and the more I think about it the more it sounds like a great idea. I figured I needed to talk to people with connections before it just becomes one of those nice ideas that never really materializes.

What do you think?

-thx to johnny for the video goodness